There was a Young Lady of Russia,
Who screamed so that no one could hush her;
Her screams were extreme, no one heard such a scream,
As was screamed by that Lady of Russia.

There was a young lady of Riga
Who went for a ride on a tiger:
They returned from the ride
With the lady inside
And a smile on the face of the tiger.

THERE was a young lady of Rheims,
There was an old poet of Gizeh;
He rhymed on the deepest and sweetest of themes,
She scorned all his efforts to please her:
And he sighed, " Ah, I see,
She and sense won't agree."
So he scribbled her moonshine, mere moonshine, and she,
With jubilant screams, packed her trunk up in Rheims,
Cried aloud, " I am coming, O Bard of my dreams!"
And was clasped to his bosom in Gizeh.

There was a young lady of Oakham,
Who would steal your cigars and then soak 'mdash
— In honey and rum,
— And then smear 'mdash with gum,
So it wasn't a pleasure to smoke 'mdash.

There was a young lady of Niger
Who smiled as she rode on a Tiger;
They came back from the ride
With the lady inside,
And the smile on the face of the Tiger.

Oh kindle up thine altar! see the brands
Lie scattered here and there that lit the pile;
Thy priests to other service turn their hands,
And with unhallowed works their souls defile;
No victims bleed, no fire is blazing high,
They leave thy shrine to serve another god;
Who will not hear them when to him they cry,
But be to them thine own avenging rod;
The people wait in vain to hear thy voice,
With none to lead them right, with none to feed;
No more within thy courts their hearts rejoice,
But at each word the Christ must in them bleed;

There was a Young Lady of Hull,
Who was chased by a virulent Bull;
But she seized on a spade, and called out — " Who's afraid!"
Which distracted that virulent Bull.

There was a young lady of Corsica,
Who purchased a little brown saucy-cur;
Which she fed upon ham, and hot raspberry jam,
That expensive young lady of Corsica.

There was a young lady named Bright,
Who traveled much faster than light.
She started one day
In the relative way,
And returned on the previous night.

I would be meek as He who bore his cross,
And died on earth that I in him might live,
And, while in sin I knew not of my loss,
Suffered with gentle love his hope to give;
May I within the manger too be laid,
And mid the thieves his childlike meekness show;
And though by him who kisses me betrayed,
May I no will but his my Master's know;
Thus sheltered by the lonely vale of tears,
My feet shall tread secure the path he trod,
Mid lying tongues that pierce my side like spears,
I too shall find within the peace of God;