Classic Poem

The women all tell me I'm false to my lass,
That I quit my poor Chloe and stick to my glass:
But to you men of Reason, my reasons I'll own,
And if you don't like them why let them alone.

Altho' I have left her, the truth I'll declare,
I believe she was good, and I'm sure she was fair;
But goodness and charms in a bumper I see,
That makes it as good and as charming as she.

My Chloe had dimples and smiles I must own,
But tho' she could smile, yet in truth she could frown;
But tell me, ye lovers of liquor divine,
Did you e'er see a frown in a bumper of wine?

Her lilies and roses were just in their prime,
Yet lilies and roses are conquered by Time;
But in wine from its age such a benefit flows,
That we like it the better the older it grows.

They tell me my love would in time have been cloy'd,
And that Beauty's insipid when once 'tis enjoyed:
But in wine I both Time and enjoyment defy,
For the longer I drink the more thirsty am I.

Let murders and battles and history prove
The mischiefs that wait upon rivals in love;
But in drinking (thank Heaven!) no rival contends,
For the more we love liquor the more we are friends.

She too might have poisoned the joy of my life,
With nurses and babies and squalling and strife;
But Wine neither nurses nor babies can bring,
And a big-bellied bottle's a mighty good thing.

We shorten our days when with love we engage,
It brings on diseases and hastens old age:
But Wine from grim Death can its votaries save,
And keep out t'other leg, when there's one in the grave.

Perhaps, like her sex, ever false to their word,
She had left me to get an estate or a lord;
But my Bumper, regarding nor titles nor pelf,
Will stand by me while I can't stand by myself.

Then let my dear Chloe no longer complain,
She's rid of her lover, and I of my pain:
For in wine, mighty wine, my comforts I spy,
Should you doubt what I say, take a bumper and try!