Classic Poem

The Butterfly's Ball and the Grasshopper's Feasts
Excited the spleen of the birds and the beasts:
For their mirth and good cheer—of the Bee was the theme,
And the Gnat blew his horn, as he danced in the beam;
'Twas hummed by the Beetle, 'twas buzzed by the Fly,
And sung by the myriads that sport through the sky.
The quadrupeds listened with sullen displeasure,
But the tenants of air were enraged beyond measure.

The Peacock displayed his bright plumes to the sun,
And, addressing his mates, thus indignant begun:
‘Shall we, like domestic, inelegant fowls,
As unpolished as geese, and as stupid as owls,
Sit tamely at home, hum-drum with our spouses,
While crickets and butterflies open their houses?
Shall such mean little insects pretend to the fashion?
Cousin Turkey-cock, well may you be in a passion!
If I suffer such insolent airs to prevail,
May Juno pluck out all the eyes in my tail!
So a fête I will give, and my taste I'll display,
And send out my cards for St. Valentine's Day.’

This determined, six fleet Carrier Pigeons went out
To invite all the birds to Sir Argus's rout.
The nest-loving Turtle-dove sent an excuse;
Dame Partlet lay in, as did good Mrs. Goose.
The Turkey, poor soul! was confined to the rip:
For all her young brood had just failed with the pip.
The Partridge was asked; but a neighbour hard by
Had engaged a snug party to meet in a pie;
And the Wheatear declined, recollecting her cousins,
Last year, to a feast were invited by dozens—
But, alas! they returned not; and she had no taste
To appear in a costume of vine-leaves or paste.
The Woodcock preferred his lone haunt on the moor;
And the traveller, Swallow, was still on his tour;
While the Cuckoo, who should have been one of the guests,
Was rambling on visits to other birds' nests.
But the rest all accepted the kind invitation,
And much bustle it caused in the plumèd creation.

Such ruffling of feathers, such pruning of coats,
Such chirping, such whistling, such clearing of throats,
Such polishing bills, and such oiling of pinions,
Had never been known in the biped dominions!
The Tailor-bird offered to make up new clothes
For all the young birdlings who wished to be beaux:
He made for the Robin a doublet of red,
And a new velvet cap for the Goldfinch's head;
He added a plume to the Wren's golden crest,
And spangled with silver the Guinea-fowl's breast;
While the Halcyon bent over the streamlet to view
How pretty she looked in her bodice of blue.

Thus adorned, they set off for the Peacock's abode
With the guide Indicator, who showed them the road;
From all points of the compass flocked birds of all feather,
And the Parrot can tell who and who were together.
There was Lord Cassowary and General Flamingo,
And Don Peroqueto, escaped from Domingo;
From his high rock-built eyrie the Eagle came forth,
And the Duchess of Ptarmigan flew from the north.

The Grebe and the Eider-duck came up by water,
With the Swan, who brought out the young Cygnet, her daughter.
From his woodland abode came the Pheasant, to meet
Two kindred, arrived by the last India fleet:
The one, like a nabob, in habit most splendid,
Where gold with each hue of the rainbow was blended:
In silver and black, like a fair pensive maid
Who mourns for her love, was the other arrayed.
The Chough came from Cornwall, and brought up his wife;
The Grouse travelled south, from his lairdship in Fife;
The Bunting forsook her soft nest in the reeds;
And the Widow-bird came, though she still wore her weeds.
Sir John Heron, of the Lakes, strutted in a grand pas ,
But no card had been sent to the pilfering Daw,
As the Peacock kept up his progenitor's quarrel,
Which Aesop relates, about cast-off apparel;
For birds are like men in their contests together,
And, in questions of right, can dispute for a feather.

The Peacock, imperial, the pride of his race,
Received all his guests with an infinite grace,
Waved high his blue neck, and his train he displayed,
Embroidered with gold, and with emeralds inlaid;
Then with all the gay troop to the shrubbery repaired,
Where the musical birds had a concert prepared.
A holly bush formed the orchestra, and in it
Sat the Blackbird, the Thrush, the Lark, and the Linnet;
A Bullfinch, a captive almost from the nest,
Now escaped from his cage, and with liberty blest,
In a sweet mellow tone joined the lessons of art
With the accents of nature which flowed from his heart.
The Canary, a much-admired foreign musician,
Condescended to sing to the fowls of condition;
While the Nightingale warbled and quavered so fine
That they all clapped their wings and declared it divine.
The Skylark, in ecstasy, sang from a cloud,
And Chanticleer crowed, and the Yaffil laughed loud.

The dancing began when the singing was over:
A Dotterel first opened the ball with the Plover;
Baron Stork in a waltz was allowed to excel,
With his beautiful partner, the fair Demoiselle;
And a newly-fledged Gosling, so fair and genteel,
A minuet swam with the spruce Mr. Teal.
A London-bred Sparrow—a pert forward cit!
Danced a reel with Miss Wagtail, and little Tom Tit.
And the Sieur Guillemot next performed a pas seul ,
While the elderly bipeds were playing a pool.
The Dowager Toucan was first to cut in,
With old Doctor Buzzard and Admiral Penguin;
From her ivy-bush tower came Dame Owlet the wise,
And Counsellor Crossbill sat by to advise.
Some birds past their prime, o'er whose heads it was fated
Should pass many St. Valentines—yet be unmated,
Sat by, and remarked that the prudent and sage
Were quite overlooked in this frivolous age,
When birds, scarce pen-feathered, were brought to a rout,
Forward chits! from the egg-shell but newly come out.
In their youthful days, they ne'er witnessed such frisking;
And how wrong in the Greenfinch to flirt with the Siskin!
So thought Lady Mackaw, and her friend Cockatoo;
And the Raven foretold that no good could ensue!
They censured the Bantam, for strutting and crowing
In those vile pantaloons, which he fancied looked knowing;
And a want of decorum caused many demurs
Against the Game Chicken, for coming in spurs.

Old Alderman Cormorant, for supper impatient,
At the eating-room door for an hour had been stationed,
Till a Magpie, at length, the banquet announcing,
Gave the signal, long wished for, of clamouring and pouncing:
At the well-furnished board all were eager to perch,
But the little Miss Creepers were left in the lurch.
Description must fail, and the pen is unable
To recount all the luxuries that covered the table.
Each delicate viand that taste could denote,
Wasps à la sauce piquante , and flies en compôte ;
Worms and frogs en friture , for the web-footed fowl,
And a barbecued mouse was prepared for the Owl;
Nuts, grains, fruit, and fish, to regale every palate,
And groundsel and chickweed served up in a salad.
The Razorbill carved for the famishing group,
And the Spoonbill obligingly ladled the soup;
So they filled all their crops with the dainties before 'em,
And the tables were cleared with the utmost decorum.

When they gaily had carolled till peep of the dawn,
The Lark gently hinted 'twas time to be gone;
And his clarion, so shrill, gave the company warning,
That Chanticleer scented the gales of the morning.
So they chirped, in full chorus, a friendly adieu;
And, with hearts beating light as the plumage that grew
On their merry-thought bosoms, away they all flew.

Then long live the Peacock, in splendour unmatched,
Whose ball shall be talked of by birds yet unhatched!
His praise let the Trumpeter loudly proclaim,
And the Goose lend her quill to transmit it to fame.