Classic Poem

Queen of wit and beauty, Betty,
Never may the muse forget ye:
How thy face charms every shepherd,
Spotted over like a leopard!
And, thy freckled neck displayed,
Envy breeds in every maid.
Like a flyblown cake of tallow,
Or, on parchment, ink turned yellow:
Or, a tawny speckled pippin,
Shrivelled with a winter's keeping.

And, thy beauty thus dispatched;
Let me praise thy wit unmatched.

Sets of phrases, cut and dry,
Evermore thy tongue supply.
And, thy memory is loaded
With old scraps from plays exploded.
Stocked with repartees and jokes,
Suited to all Christian folks:
Shreds of wit, and senseless rhymes,
Blundered out a thousand times.
Nor, wilt thou of gifts be sparing,
Which can ne'er be worse for wearing.
Picking wit among collegians,
In the playhouse upper regions;
Where, in eighteen-penny gallery,
Irish nymphs learn Irish raillery:
But, thy merit is thy failing,
And, thy raillery is railing.

Thus, with talents well endued,
To be scurrilous and rude;
When you pertly raise your snout,
Fleer, and gibe, and laugh, and flout;
This, among Hibernian asses,
For sheer wit, and humour passes!
Thus, indulgent Chloe bit,
Swears you have a world of wit.