Classic Poem

VERSE

Three little unexpected children,
Simultaneously the doctor brought us
And you can see that we'll be
Three forever and aye, ee-i-o.
You wouldn't know how agonizing
Being triple can be.
Each one is individually
The victim of the clinical day,
Ee-i-o.
Ev'ry summer we go away to Baden Baden Baden.
Ev'ry winter we come back home to Walla Walla Walla.

REFRAIN

We do ev'rything alike;
We look alike, we dress alike,
We walk alike, we talk alike,
And what is more
We hate each other very much.
We hate our folks,
We're sick of jokes on what an art it is to tell us apart.
If one of us gets the measles,
Another one gets the measles,
Then all of us gets the measles,
And mumps and croup.
How I wish I had a gun,
A little gun,
It would be fun to shoot the other two
And be only one.

PATTER

Missus Whiffle Poofer loves to talk to Missus Hildendorfer
Of the fatal natal day she had her silly Willie.
Missus Hassencooper loves to talk to Missus Goldenwasser
Of her major operation when she had her twins.
But when Mother comes along, she silences the others;
She accomplished something that is very rare in mothers.
People who disparage marriage, burdened with a baby carriage,
Cater to the mater and her large perambulator.
M-G-M has got a Leo,
But Mama has got a trio.
She is proud, but says three is a crowd.

AFTER PATTER

We eat the same kind of vittels,
We drink the same kind of bottles,
We sit in the same kind of high chair
(Hi chair, hi chair).
How I wish I had a gun,
A little gun,
It would be fun
To shoot the other two
And be only one.