Classic Poem

If Japan is
That different from all of the countries of the world
Even if Nihonjin
Is read as NIPPONJIN. The sound sounds good
If we're that different from all the foreigners in the world
Tell me how you tell yourself apart.

If one yen is not two marks
And it happens that it's not a half a mark
If on the whole the yen is not a mark and not a pound or a ruble or any of these things
What is this dam thing called one yen.

I know. The professors taught me
Said some long ago know-nothing barbarian uncivilized folks
Used some sort of clamshells for their cash
And now even the professors
Don't even know how many yews a shell.

On the front the chrysanthemum's 16 petals
On the back rippling waves and cherry blossom flowers
This is then my own 10 sen
And thrown into the bargain a hole like they didn't used to have.

And by the way why do the mails
If all foreigners are unrefined
Putting on the front of their coins kings and presidents and sickles and hammers
Arrive at these far destinations.

Why do " cheap and quality Japanese goods "
Have their way in foreign markets?

Soon all sorts of geniuses
Trying to make theory from all this
Will be suffering for sure
But that is fruitless effort
They've got to learn the exchange rate
And I for one. Even if you don't know
I know the international clamshell exchange.