List to me while I tell you
Of the Spaniard that blighted my life;
List to me while I tell you
Of the man who pinched my future wife.
'Twas at the bull-fight where we met him,
We'd been watching his daring display,
And while I'd gone out for some nuts and a programme
The dirty dog stole her away.
Oh yes! oh yes!
But I've sworn that I'll have my revenge!

If I catch Alphonso Spagoni the Toreador,
With one mighty swipe I will dislocate his bally jaw!
I'll find this bull-fighter, I will,
And when I catch the bounder, the blighter I'll kill.
He shall die! he shall die! he shall die tiddly-i-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti!
He shall die! he shall die!
For I'll raise a bunion on his Spanish onion
If I catch him bending tonight!

Yes, when I catch Spagoni
He will wish that he'd never been born;
And for this special reason,
My stiletto I've fetched out of pawn.
It cost me five shillings to fetch it,
This expense it has caused me much pain,
But the pawnbroker's promised when I've killed Spagoni
He'll take it in pawn once again.
Oh yes! oh, yes!
So tonight there will be dirty work.

If I catch Alphonso Spagoni, the Toreador,
With one mighty swipe I will dislocate his bally jaw!
I'll find this bull-fighter, I will,
And when I catch the bounder, the blighter I'll kill.
He shall die! he shall die! he shall die tiddly-i-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti!
He shall die! he shall die!
For I'll raise a bunion on his Spanish onion
If I catch him bending tonight!