Act 4. Scene 4 -

Shape, Chirurgion, Mercer.

Sha. Hee's a good friend of mine, and I presume
Upon your secresie.
Chi. O Sir — — the Deed
By which it came was not more close. D'y' think
I would undo me self by twitting? 'twere
To bring the Gallants all about mine Ears,
And make me mine own Patient. I'm faithfull,
And secret, though a Barber.
Sha. Nay, but hear me;
Hee's very modest: 'twas his first attempt
Procur'd him this infirmity; he will
Be bashfull I am sure, and won't be known
Of any such thing at the first; you must
Be sure to put him to't.
Chi. Let me alone,
He knows not yet the world I do perceive.
It is as common now with Gentlemen,
As 'tis to follow fashion; only here
Lyeth the difference, that they keep in this
A little longer. I shall have so much
Upon your word Sir?
Sha. If you do perform
The cure by that time (twenty peeces Sir.)
You are content?
Mer. Yes Sir.
Chi. It shall be done
According to your own prescription.
Sit down I pray you Sir, this Gentleman
Is a good friend of yours.
Mer. Indeed he is
A very honest man as any one
Can wish to deal with verily.
Chi. Beleeve't
He loves you very well.
Mer. I am most ready
To do him any service truly; pray you
Good Brother don't delay me, I'm in haste.
Chi. Indeed, and truly, verily good Brother;
How could these milk-sop words e'r get him company
That could procure the Pox? where do you feel
Your grief most trouble you?
Mer. I'm very well.
What mean you Brother?
Chi. Nay, be not so modest;
'Tis no such hainous fault, as that you should
Seek thus to hide it: meer ill fortune only —
Mer. Surely you do forget your self.
Chi. Come, come,
He told me you'ld be shamefac'd; you must be
Wary hereafter.
Mer. (I do perceive
He is a little mad indeed; the Gentleman
Told me so much just as I came along)
Yes, yes, I'l be wary, I'l take heed,
Come pray y' dispatch me.
Chi. So, I like you now.
It is the custome of most Gentlemen
Not to confesse untill they feel their bones
Begin t' admonish 'em.
Mer. You are i'th' right:
Good friend make haste: I've very urgent businesse.
Chi. Not rashly neither; Is your Gristle sound?
Me thinks 'tis very firm as yet to th' touch.
You fear no danger there as yet Sir, do you?
Mer. No, I'l assure you. (He must have his humour;
I see he is not to be cross'd.)
Chi. When did you
Feel the first grudging on 't? 'tis not broke out
In any place?
Mer. No, no: I pray y' dispatch me.
Chi. These things desire deliberation;
Care is requir'd.
Mer. Good Brother go t' your Chest.
Chi. How can I know what Med'cines to apply,
If that you tell me not where lies your grief?
Mer. Nay good now let me go.
Chi. I must not Sir,
Nor will not truly: trust me you will wish
You had confess'd and suffer'd me in time,
When you shall come to dry burnt Racks of Mutton,
The Syren, and the Tub.
Mer. So now enough;
Pray fetch me what you promis'd.
Chi. Are you wild,
Or mad? I do protest I ne'r did meet
A Gentleman of such perversnesse yet.
I find you just as I was told you should [be].
Mer. I lose the taking, by my swear, of taking
As much, whiles that I am receiving this.
Chi. I will not hinder you, if that you do
Prefer your gain before your health.
Mer. Well then
I pray you tell it out; we Tradesmen are not
Masters of our own time.
Chi. What would you have?
Mer. What would I have? as if you did not know;
Come come leave jesting now at last good Brother.
Chi. I am in earnest Sir.
Mer. Why, I would have
My money Sir, the twenty peeces that
The Gentleman did give you order now
To pay me for the Velvet, that he bought
This morning of me.
Chi. O! the Gentleman — —
Mer. You should not make a laughing stock good Brother
Of one that wrongs you not; I do professe
I won't be fubb'd ensure your self.
Chi. The Gentleman!
Oh! oh! the Gentleman! is this the cure
I should perform? truly I dare not venture
Upon such desperate Maladies.
Mer. You are
But merrily dispos'd?
Chi. Indeed they are
Too high for my small Quality; verily
Perhaps good Brother you might perish under
Mine hands truly; I do profess I am not
Any of your bold Mountebanks in this.
Mer. You're still dispos'd —
Chi. To laugh at you good Brother.
Gull'd by my swear, by my swear gull'd; he told me
You had a small infirmity upon you,
A griefe of youth, or two; and that I should
Have twenty peeces for the cure. He ask'd you
If that you were content, you answered yes.
I was in hope I'd gain'd a Patient more;
Your best way is to make haste after him.
Mer. Now could I beat my self for a wise fool
That I was, thus to trust him.
Chi. B'w'y' Brother.
'Fore God a good one. O! the Gentleman.
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