After dreaming some hours of the land of Cockaigne

After dreaming some hours of the land of Cocaigne,
That Elysium of all that is friand and nice,
Where for hail they have bon-bons , and claret for rain,
And the skaters in winter show off on cream -ice;
Where so ready all nature its cookery yields,
Macaroni au parmesan grows in the fields:
Little birds fly about with the true pheasant taint,
And the geese are all born with a liver complaint!
I rise — put on neck-cloth — stiff, tight, as can be —
For a lad who goes into the world . Dick . like me,
Should have his neck tied up, you know — there's no doubt of it —
Almost as tight as some lads who go out of it .
With whiskers well oiled, and with boots that " hold up
" The mirror to nature " — so bright you could sup
Off the leather like china; with coat, too, that draws
On the tailor, who suffers, a martyr's applause! —
With head bridled up, like a four-in-hand leader,
And stays — devil 's in them — too tight for a feeder,
I strut to the old Cafe Hardy, which yet
Beats the field at a dejeuner a la fourchette .
There, Dick , what a breakfast! — oh! not like your ghost
Of a breakfast in England, your curst tea and toast;
But a side-board, you dog, where one's eye roves about,
Like a turk's in the Haram, and thence singles out
One's pâte of larks, just to tune up the throat,
One's small limbs of chickens, done en papillote .
One's erudite cutlets, drest all ways but plain,
Or one's kidneys — imagine, Dick — done with champagne!
Then, some glasses of Beaune , to dilute — or, may hap,
Chambertin , which you know 's the pet tipple of N AP ,
And which Dad, by the by, that legitimate stickler,
Much scruples to taste, but I 'm not so partic'lar. —
Your coffee comes next, by prescription: and then Dick 's
The coffee's ne'er-failing and glorious appendix,
(If books had but such, my old Grecian, depend on 't,
I 'd swallow e'en Watkins', for sake of the end on 't,)
A neat glass of parfait-amour , which one sips
Just as if bottled velvet tipt over one's lips.
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