Classic Poem

Of all the Girls that e'er were seen
There's none so fine as Nelly,
For charming Face, and Shape, and Mien,
And what's not fit to tell ye:
Oh! the turn'd Neck, and smooth white Skin
of lovely dearest Nelly!
For many a Swain it well had been,
Had she ne'er pass'd by Calai.

For when as Nelly came to France,
(Invited by her cosins,)
Across the Tuilleries each glance
Kill'd Frenchmen by whole dozens;
The king, as he at dinner sat,
Did beckon to his Hussar,
And bid him bring his Tabby Cat
For charming Nell to buss her.

The Ladies were with Rage provok'd,
To see her so respected:
The men look'd arch, as Nelly stroked,
And Puss her tail Erected.
But not a man did look imploy,
Except on pretty Nelly,
Then said the duke de Villeroy,
Ah! qu'elle est bien jolie!

But who's that grave Philosopher,
That carefully looks a' ter?
By his Concern it should appear
The Fair One is his Daughter.
Ma foy! (quoth then a courtier sly,)
He on his Child does leer too;
I wish he has no Mind to try
What some Papas will here do.

The Courtiers all, with one Accord
Broke out in Nelly's praises,
Admired her Rose and Lys sans farde
(Which are your Termes Franoises)
Then might you see a painted Ring
Of Dames that stood by Nelly:
She, like the Pride of all the Spring,
And they like Fleurs du Palais.

In Marli's gardens and St. Clou
I saw this charming Nelly,
Where shameless Nymphs, expos'd to view
Stand naked in each Allee:
But Venus had a Brazen Face,
Both at Versailles and Meudon,
Or else she had resign'd her Place,
And left the Stone she stood on.

Were Nelly's Figure mounted there,
'Twould put down all th' Italian:
Lord! how those Foreigners would stare!
But I should turn Pygmalion:
For, spite of Lips, and Eyes, and Mien,
Me, nothing can delight so,
As does that Part that lies between
Her Left Toe, and her Right Toe.