Classic Poem

I'm parish clerk and sexton here,
My name is Caleb Quotem;
I'm painter, glazier, auctioneer,
In short, I am factotum.
I make a watch; I mend the pumps;
For plumber's work my knack is:
I physic sell; I cure the munips;
I tombstones cut; I cut the rumps
Of little schoolboy Jackies.
Geography is my delight;
Ballads — epitaphs I write;
Almanacks I can indite;
Graves I dig, compact and tight.
At night by the fire, like a good jolly cock,
When my day's work is done and all over,
I tipple, I smoke, and I wind up the clock,
With my sweet Mrs. Quotem in clover.
With my amen, gaymen,
Rum Quotem,
Factotum;
Putty and lead;
Stumps, mumps,
Bumps, rumps,
Mortar he thumps;
Foggany, floggany,
Signy-post daubery,
Split-crow or strawberry,
Chimery, rhymery,
Liquorish, stickerish,
Chizzle tomb,
Frizzle comb,
Going, a-going!
Squills,
Pills,
Song inditing,
Epitaph writing,
Steeple sound,
Corpse to the ground;
Windsor soap,
Physic the Pope;
Home hop,
Shut up shop;
Punch-bowl crockery,
Wind up clockery.
Many small articles make up a sum;
I dabble in all — I'm merry and rum;
And 'tis heigho! for Caleb Quotem, O!