Classic Poem

 'Twas this enrag'd the Muses ' spirits,
And made their eyes as red as ferrets.
When passion shakes these lovely creatures,
They lose at once their heavenly features,
And in their poor degraded breast
Each mortal feeling stands confest.
Read but the wars of G REECE and T ROY ,
At every school taught every boy:
Old H OMER pictures to our view
The manners of th' O LYMPIAN crew;
How they deceive, cheat, fight, and squabble,
Far worse than any blackguard rabble;
From the great cuckold-maker J OVE ,
And the intriguing Queen of Love,
From drunken B ACCHUS , swaggering M ARS ,
Down to the race of lesser Stars,
'Tis discord all, eternal brawling,
Nay worse, eternal caterwauling!——
D IAN alone, of all the sky,
Affects to boast virginity ,
Which makes each female there expose
Her modesty where'er she goes;
And on her head a moon they stick,
To mark her for a Lunatic .

 Now, Reader, if th' Immortal Race
Can thus O LYMPUS ' realms disgrace,
If from the Court end of the world
Such wretched dialogues are hurl'd,
P ARNASSUS hardly will be found
In more politeness to abound.
To own the truth, 'tis nearly equal,
As we shall shew you in the sequel.
Should you compassionate our Bard,
And think his persecution hard,
You'll wish to know how matters went;
I hold the pen with that intent;
But you must give a writer time,
Whether it be in Prose, or Rhyme,
Facts should be clear, and duly stated,
A tale is marr'd if ill related.
We'll leave our Poet for the present,
Indulging thoughts extremely pleasant,
Arranging all his future building,
Settling its ornaments and gilding:
Whilst he's his votive scheme pursuing,
Unconscious of the mischief brewing,
Let us the angry Muses follow,
Who're on the wing to seek A POLLO .