Classic Poem

 The Muses look'd around them yawning,
They ne'er had seen so queer a dawning;
Indeed the N INE with truth might say,
'Twas the burlesque of opening day.—
Unlike at home what cheer'd their sight,
When close behind retiring N IGHT ,
A URORA from the East ascending,
With the gay playful H OURS attending,
Scatters around her purple rays,
Till all creation feels the blaze,
Warm, unimpeded, and serene,
They gild and gladden ev'ry scene.
Th' expanding flowers shake off the dew,
And spread their beauties to her view,
Whilst the wing'd Z EPHYRS hov'ring round,
Brush'd the rich perfumes from the ground,
And with their odours mark'd the way,
The splendid track of orient D AY .

 Tho' thus fair morn to these fair Maids
Brighten'd their own A ONIAN shades,
Yet they had sense enough to know
In L ONDON things could not be so;
Where the N ORTH E AST , o'er kennels blowing,
Must be more stinks than sweets bestowing,
Which, wafted from close courts, dead walls,
And murky lanes that round S T . P AUL'S
On L UDGATE Hill assail'd their noses
With smells, unlike the smell of Roses.—
But practis'd travellers little care
Whether or well, or ill they fare,
To each occurrence patient bend,
Still pushing forward to their end.

 A POLLO , by his maid, requested
To know how his nine guests had rested;
Who in the humblest terms exprest,
Her master was both shav'd and drest,
And, whensoe'er they were at leisure,
That breakfast would attend their pleasure.
The Muses , all alert, descended,
And on his tea-table attended.
This country (cries the pleasant God)
To you, dear Girls, must seem but odd;
With your celestial frames ill-suiting;
Here life's perpetually recruiting,
And without three good meals a day,
Its wasting wheels won't keep in play;
Let me, as Doctor, then advise,
To eat the moment that you rise;
See, I've provided you good stuffing,
Here's Toast , and Yorkshire Cake , and Muffin ,
And the best Tea without exception,
Unmixt and free from all deception .—
This business over, we'll pursue
The scheme which so much interests you,
And seek this mischief-making Dame,
On whom we now must have a claim.