Classic Poem

O, London is the place for all,
 In love with loco-motion!
Still to and fro the people go
 Like billows of the ocean;
Machine or man, or caravan,
 Can all be had for paying,
When great estates, or heavy weights,
 Or bodies want conveying.

There 's always hacks about in packs,
 Wherein you may be shaken,
And Jarvis is not always drunk ,
 Tho' always overtaken ;
In racing tricks he 'll never mix,
 His nags are in their last days,
And slow to go, altho' they show
 As if they had their fast days!

Then if you like a single horse,
 This age is quite a cab-age ,
A car not quite so small and light
 As those of our Queen Mab age;
The horses have been broken well ,
 All danger is rescinded,
For some have broken both their knees
 And some are broken winded .

If you 've a friend at Chelsea end,
 The stages are worth knowing—
There is a sort, we call 'em short,
 Although the longest going—
For some will stop at Hatchett's shop,
 Till you grow faint and sicky,
Perched up behind, at last to find,
 Your dinner is all dickey!

Lon stages run from every yard;
 But if you 're wise and frugal,
You 'll never go with any Guard
 That plays upon the bugle,
“Ye banks and braes,” and other lays,
 And ditties everlasting,
Like miners going all your way,
 With boring and with blasting .

Instead of journeys , people now
 May go upon a Gurney ,
With steam to do the horses' work,
 By powers of attorney ;
Tho' with a load it may explode,
 And you may all be un -done!
And find you 're going up to Heaven ,
 Instead of up to London!

To speak of every kind of coach,
 It is not my intention;
But there is still one vehicle
 Deserves a little mention;
The world a sage has called a stage,
 With all its living lumber,
And Malthus swears it always bears
 Above the proper number.

The law will transfer house or land
 Forever and a day hence,
For lighter things, watch, brooches, rings,
 You 'll never want conveyance;
Ho! stop the thief! my handkerchief!
 It is no sight for laughter—
Away it goes, and leaves my nose
 To join in running after!