Classic Poem

I' VE seen (lucky me!) what you all want to see —
Good people, give ear to my sonnet —
I've gazed in the ring on the Muscovy King,
And I've peeped at the Oldenburg bonnet:
At his sister's approach to get into her coach,
Her brother steps forward to hand her,
What ecstasies throb in the hearts of the mob,
With huzza for the great Alexander!

On bracelet and seal behold his profile
At the shop too of Laurice and Whittle,
Nat Lee, hold your prate, Alexander the Great
Is no Alexander the Little!
In Lord William's dell, near the Pulteney hotel,
What multitudes ev'ry day wander!
They scamper like imps to indulge in a glimpse
Of the mighty renowned Alexander.

Poor Madame de Stael is quite pushed to the wall
Chasse'd by the Czar and the Duchess,
And since his retreat, even Louis dix-huit
Must walk on oblivion's crutches.
Clerks run from their quills, haberdashers their tills,
John Bull is a great goosey gander;
Even Kean is forgot, we are all on the trot
For a gaze upon great Alexander.

" Have you seen him 's " the talk, Piccadilly's the walk,
I suppose since it is so, it must be,
And nobody thinks of that musical sphynx
Catalani, or great Doctor Busby.
Anxiety burns every bosom by turns
To flirt with this royal Philander,
And happy the wight who can utter at night —
" This morning I saw Alexander. "

He dresses with taste, he is small in the waist,
I beheld him with Blucher and Platoff,
The Hetman appears with his cap on his ears,
But the Emperor rides with his hat off:
He sets on his throne with a leg on each zone,
No monarch on earth can be grander;
Half an hour after dark, the rails of the Park
Are scaled to behold Alexander.

When the town was illumed, how his residence bloomed
With lamps to the balcony fitted,
I'm told his Cossacks made eleven attacks
To drink up the oil ere they lit it!
The Chronicle says that he laces in stays —
Perhaps this is nothing but slander;
Since his stay is not long, I will shorten my song
With huzza for the great Alexander!