Classic Poem

In antient Times, the Poets sing,
The Lion was elected King;
And all the Beasts, with homage due,
Proffer'd and swore allegiance true
To him and to his heirs forever;
And so far all went smooth and clever.

But his dominions were so large,
He could not execute his charge
And give his subjects that protection
He promis'd them on his election,
Unless he call'd in some assistance:
For Brutes, as Men, will make resistance
To lawful Kings, when at a distance.
And, as he rul'd with feeblest sway
Where Pennyfeather's Forests lay,
He named the Leopard, Greyhound, Fox,
To hold them as with Bolts and Locks;
Three trusty Brutes to act together
As joint Viceroys o'er Pennyfeather.

Some time the project seemed to answer.
All day the happy Beasts could dance, or
Sing and play a thousand tricks;
Make bows or cringes; jump o'er sticks;
And do what in their power lay
To please the Brutes who bore the Sway.
The Viceroys made such large Professions
Of guarding every Brute's possessions;
As private Virtue, public Zeal,
The good of all the Common Weal,
Alone inspir'd their patriot Wish: —
No distant view of Loaf or Fish.
All self and selfish aims subdued,
They lived but for the common good.

True Patriots are indeed a rarity;
And yet I may in truth declare it t'ye,
They dealt their Cards so well about
That no one entertain'd a doubt
But Justice had resign'd her throne,
And left her Scales with them alone.

The tale proceeds: Upon the ground
An Ostritch Egg one day was found,
By shipwreck cast upon the shore.
The Beasts the prize in triumph bore,
And laid it at their ruler's feet
With honour and obedience meet.
— — I must not dwell
Too long upon this precious shell.
What — but an Egg to be divided!
How can this business be decided!

Why, cries the Fox, this lucky Stroke
May be improved — the Egg's unbroke —
Then instant place it on the Strand,
And careful cover it with Sand;
Expose it to the Sun's warm beam,
And soon the Egg with Life will teem;
Produce a Bird of monstrous size
And weight and worth — a glorious Prize!
A Prize which we will share together,
Nor throw away a single Feather.

Sir Fox, cries Leopard, sure you joke,
Nor think how 'twill the Beasts provoke.
We rule with delegated Powers;
They think the Prize is theirs, not ours.
Oh, how our Cheeks will burn with Shame
When they traduce our public Fame,
And every Rascal cries at pleasure — " he
" Is one of those that robb'd the Treasury,
" And smuggled to himself the Gold
" For which the Egg should have been sold. "
Let my advice this time prevail;
Expose the Egg to public Sale:
And whatsoe'er it shall produce,
Apply it to the public use.

The Greyhound paus'd — then thus began:
I much approve the Leopard's plan.
What he observes is very true;
The Rabble think the Egg their due,
And would with endless noise and clatter
Pursue us, if we smugg'd the matter.
What we should do is mighty plain.
What we may do, I'll just explain.
We may amuse the Beasts who crave it,
And say — the highest bid shall have it.
But few of them have seen such Fowl,
Or know an Ostrich from an owl.
Afraid the Bird may shortly die,
They'll cautious be, nor bid too high:
And those who know its worth and use,
Will swear they would prefer a Goose,
Or Hen that lays good store of Eggs:
That bating Feathers, Neck and Legs,
It was no larger than a Widgeon,
Nor half so fat as good Squab Pidgeon.
Then make a Bid with careless Air —
Not half its Value, you may swear.
Hence we may take a fair Occasion
And serve, each one, his own Relation,
In such a way, the candid must
And will acknowledge, strictly just.
Let's instant pay the highest price —
The Matter's settled in a trice —
And give our Friends the Egg to nurse;
The Public's serv'd — who fares the worse?
Pray, why may not our Puppies claim
Their honest share of Wealth or Fame,
And fill in time the higher classes?
And, cloathed with honor, be just Asses?

The Speech produc'd a general Smile:
And 'twas agreed to share the Spoil.