Classic Poem

OR, THE DEFECT OF EMBONPOINT EXPLAINED

 W HEN Sneyd with infant beauty came,
The different sexes urg'd their claim;
The Guardian-Fairies were divided,
And votes the dubious whim decided.
  Urganda , by a fatal chance,
Receiv'd no summons to the dance;
With phrenzied pique her passion storm'd,
And thus her spell with malice form'd:
“'Tis true,” she said, “this Beauty's pearl,
The casting-vote has made a Girl;
But all that is to come—is mine ,
Of branches that are feminine.
The bosom shall, at my command,
Be touch'd with desolating hand;
Shall never pant, or fall and rise,
To feast the lips, or charm the eyes;
Though Beauty , when she's quite undressd,
Will give proportion to the rest,
Shall never leave its humble sleep,
Nor from its level surface leap.”