Classic Poem

I.

Today, this Temple gets a Dean ,
Of Parts and Fame, uncommon;
Us'd, both to Pray, and to Prophane,
To serve both God and Mammon .

II.

When Wharton reign'd, a Whig he was;
When Pembroke , that's dispute, Sir:
Oxford 's Time, what Oxford pleased;
Non-Con , or Jack , or Neuter .

III.

This Place He got by Wit and Rhime,
And many Ways most odd;
And might a Bishop be, in Time,
Did he believe in God.

IV.

Nor High-Churchmen and Policy.
He swears he prays, most hearty;
But wou'd pray back again, wou'd be
A Dean of any Party.

V.

Your Lessons! Dean , all, in one Day,
Faith! it is hard, that's certain:
T'were better hear thy'own Peter say,
G — d d — — n thee Jack and Martin .

VI.

Hard! to be plagu'd with Bible, still,
And Prayer-Book before thee;
Hadst thou not Wit, to think, at Will,
On some diverting Story?

VII.

Look down, St. Patrick , look, we pray,
On thine own Church and Steeple ;
Convert thy Dean , on this Great Day ;
Or else God help the People!

VIII.

And now, whene'er his Deanship dies,
Upon his Tomb be 'Graven;
A Man of God , here, buried lies,
Who never thought of Heaven.