I AM a Frenchman from Paree,
I sail on top the ocean:
" Go on the board! " they tell to me;
I like me not the notion:
Sail on a leetle board, — Oh, no!
I much prefer the steamaire!
They call me " Lobstaire " while they laugh,
And make of me blasphemaire.
I then compare
The great Webstaire —
I look me in the dictionnaire: —
L-o-b-s-t-e-r — lobstaire: A large long-tail crustacean, use for the food: eh bien!
Perhaps I am; I cannot tell;
I understand not vairee well!
The passengaire get vairee seek
And hang across the railing;
" Heave to! " I hear the sailor speak —
I do so without failing.
They cry: " Frenchman, bravissimo!
Done well, and to the lettaire;
When up your ancestor you throw
You manage to feel bettaire! "
I then compare
The great Webstaire —
I look me in the dictionnaire: —
A-n-c-e-s-t-o-r — ancestor — forefathaire: I must throw up my forefathaire: I must throw up my forefathaire; one, two, three, four. I have throw up but one already; three more to come — O mon Dieu!
Perhaps I may, I cannot tell;
I understand not vairee well!
I tell the mastaire of the sheep —
Le capitaine most civil —
" You shall pay back what I not eat! "
He say: " Go to the devil! "
I ask: " Where ees that officaire? "
He shake the sheep weez laughtaire,
And say: " Hees watch ees down below;
You find monsieur hereaftaire! "
I then compare
The great Webstaire —
I look me in the dictionnaire: —
D-e-v-i-l — the fathaire of lies: Then Monsieur Capitaine, he is your fathaire? and I shall be introduce hereaftaire!
Perhaps I may, I cannot tell;
I understand not vairee well!
While sitting on the deck one night,
A sweet young bride so chubby
Come kees and kees me weez all her might;
She take me for her " hubby. "
I ask her to apologize
Weech drive her to deestraction;
Her husband come, weez much surprise,
Demand my satisfaction!
I then compare
The great Webstaire —
I look me in the dictionnaire: —
S-a-t-i-s-f-a-c-t-i-o-n — satisfaction: To be satisfy: to have quite enough .
Perhaps I had, I cannot tell;
I understand not vairee well!
At first I tip the cabin boy,
Then tip the steward, winking;
I tip the officaire my cap,
He tip the glass for drinking;
And every wave ees tip weez foam;
The boat himself ees tipping.
No waitaire tip, — he tip the soup
And leave your garments dripping.
I then compare
The great Webstaire —
I look me in the dictionnaire: —
T-i-p — tip: To give away the money: to pay twice for the same thing: to pay the wages of othaire people's servants!
Perhaps I did, I cannot tell;
I understand not vairee well!
I sail on top the ocean:
" Go on the board! " they tell to me;
I like me not the notion:
Sail on a leetle board, — Oh, no!
I much prefer the steamaire!
They call me " Lobstaire " while they laugh,
And make of me blasphemaire.
I then compare
The great Webstaire —
I look me in the dictionnaire: —
L-o-b-s-t-e-r — lobstaire: A large long-tail crustacean, use for the food: eh bien!
Perhaps I am; I cannot tell;
I understand not vairee well!
The passengaire get vairee seek
And hang across the railing;
" Heave to! " I hear the sailor speak —
I do so without failing.
They cry: " Frenchman, bravissimo!
Done well, and to the lettaire;
When up your ancestor you throw
You manage to feel bettaire! "
I then compare
The great Webstaire —
I look me in the dictionnaire: —
A-n-c-e-s-t-o-r — ancestor — forefathaire: I must throw up my forefathaire: I must throw up my forefathaire; one, two, three, four. I have throw up but one already; three more to come — O mon Dieu!
Perhaps I may, I cannot tell;
I understand not vairee well!
I tell the mastaire of the sheep —
Le capitaine most civil —
" You shall pay back what I not eat! "
He say: " Go to the devil! "
I ask: " Where ees that officaire? "
He shake the sheep weez laughtaire,
And say: " Hees watch ees down below;
You find monsieur hereaftaire! "
I then compare
The great Webstaire —
I look me in the dictionnaire: —
D-e-v-i-l — the fathaire of lies: Then Monsieur Capitaine, he is your fathaire? and I shall be introduce hereaftaire!
Perhaps I may, I cannot tell;
I understand not vairee well!
While sitting on the deck one night,
A sweet young bride so chubby
Come kees and kees me weez all her might;
She take me for her " hubby. "
I ask her to apologize
Weech drive her to deestraction;
Her husband come, weez much surprise,
Demand my satisfaction!
I then compare
The great Webstaire —
I look me in the dictionnaire: —
S-a-t-i-s-f-a-c-t-i-o-n — satisfaction: To be satisfy: to have quite enough .
Perhaps I had, I cannot tell;
I understand not vairee well!
At first I tip the cabin boy,
Then tip the steward, winking;
I tip the officaire my cap,
He tip the glass for drinking;
And every wave ees tip weez foam;
The boat himself ees tipping.
No waitaire tip, — he tip the soup
And leave your garments dripping.
I then compare
The great Webstaire —
I look me in the dictionnaire: —
T-i-p — tip: To give away the money: to pay twice for the same thing: to pay the wages of othaire people's servants!
Perhaps I did, I cannot tell;
I understand not vairee well!