Classic Poem

I met an elf-man in the woods,
The wee-est little elf!
Sitting under a mushroom tall —
'Twas taller than himself!

" How do you do, little elf, " I said,
" And what do you do all day? "
" I dance 'n fwolic about, " said he,
" 'N scuttle about and play;

" I s'prise the butterflies, 'n when
A katydid I see,
" Katy didn't!" I say, and he
Says " Katy did!" to me!

" I hide behind my mushroom stalk
When Mister Mole comes froo,
'N only jus' to fwighten him
I jump out 'n say " Boo!"

" 'N then I swing on a cobweb swing
Up in the air so high,
'N the cwickets chirp to hear me sing
" Upsy-daisy-die!"

" 'N then I play with the baby chicks,
I call them, chick chick chick!
'N what do you think of that? " said he.
I said, " It makes me sick.

" It gives me sharp and shooting pains
To listen to such drool. "
I lifted up my foot, and squashed
The God damn little fool.