Paradoxography: an ancient Roman and Greek literary genre, which consisted of compilations of events considered bizarre, inexplicable, wondrous, and portentous
If you’d like to talk to a live person, just say “live person,”
says the robot-voice on the Tivo Customer Service line.
Live person , I say.
—Hmmnn…I’m not sure I got that.
Would you like to talk with a live person, or continue working with me?
—No. Live person, please.
—Hmmnn…I’m still not sure I got that…
***
Because of the near
indistinguishability of 1 and l,
it kept saying: Enter the alphanumeric
or hexadecimal code,
it kept saying: To continue you must reenter the code.
***
Some assembly’s required. The wireless network’s
unsecured, its password
still unchanged from the default
password, its already-forgotten login either
Orthodox or paradox.
***
In passing it was mentioned that the dead
could be expected no longer to arise.
***
The witness said subpoena instead of penis, penis
instead of vagina.
***
Are there extralexical elements here, and if so, how are they to be written?
***
I always thought it went
Our Father which aren’t
in heaven, and sat
staring at His stained-glass throne, wondering
where instead He were.
***
The Very Reverend Metropolitan and Primate
has adjudicated the situation, and the liturgy’s
ancient reiterations have been stilled.
An alarming lack of catechesis has been fingered.
The gold-enameled garb is hung in a chancellery,
and the incense’s snuffer
smolders.
***
Wait, the gas cap warns
me, Wait
until the hissing stops.
***
As cervix to vagina, so the Law’s
letter, to its spirit.
***
The siccative packet in a shoe box
read, unaccountably, Do not eat.
***
Although I have the confirmation code,
they said they could not use it to confirm
any of the particulars of my account.
***
He inserted his vagina into my subpoena.
***
Are there any further
difficulties,
the psychiatrist asked her,
listing while she sobbed.
***
In my words and in my deeds, in what I have done
and what I have failed to do.
***
Take, the medicine bottle advises,
until distress
subsides.
***
En abyme, ad initio
In the beginning was the
***
She said oh for zero, she said
my set for her breasts and his package for her lovers’ genitalia.
***
He’d never really understood the difference
between contractions and possessives
but knew to call a doctor if contractions
came ten minutes apart.
He’d always secretly wondered why if is was
the present tense they always called it
the verb-to-be, as if it hadn’t yet arrived,
and if that was what led to all
it’s present
tension.
***
What is this word decussate? This cross, this deca-, this 10, this
chi, this intersect, this eliminator, this ancient, formidable X?
***
The sung liturgy’s reiterant
in the mind: We who mystically
represent
represent
the cherubim
rep re sent
the che e e ru bim
now lay aside all earthly cares…
O terra infirma. The confirmation
code will confirm—
on earth or heaven—
no transaction.
***
Take, until distress subsides.
Until the difficulties,
one by one, subside.
***
I’m not sure I got
that: did that sign
say God is nowhere
or God is now here,
or both?
***
Live person,
please.
Because some days being feels
experimental, randomized,
placebo-suspect, double-blind,
some voice inside the hissing
keeps saying to us (robotic, anachronistic): Reenter the code.
If you’d like to talk to a live person, just say “live person,”
says the robot-voice on the Tivo Customer Service line.
Live person , I say.
—Hmmnn…I’m not sure I got that.
Would you like to talk with a live person, or continue working with me?
—No. Live person, please.
—Hmmnn…I’m still not sure I got that…
***
Because of the near
indistinguishability of 1 and l,
it kept saying: Enter the alphanumeric
or hexadecimal code,
it kept saying: To continue you must reenter the code.
***
Some assembly’s required. The wireless network’s
unsecured, its password
still unchanged from the default
password, its already-forgotten login either
Orthodox or paradox.
***
In passing it was mentioned that the dead
could be expected no longer to arise.
***
The witness said subpoena instead of penis, penis
instead of vagina.
***
Are there extralexical elements here, and if so, how are they to be written?
***
I always thought it went
Our Father which aren’t
in heaven, and sat
staring at His stained-glass throne, wondering
where instead He were.
***
The Very Reverend Metropolitan and Primate
has adjudicated the situation, and the liturgy’s
ancient reiterations have been stilled.
An alarming lack of catechesis has been fingered.
The gold-enameled garb is hung in a chancellery,
and the incense’s snuffer
smolders.
***
Wait, the gas cap warns
me, Wait
until the hissing stops.
***
As cervix to vagina, so the Law’s
letter, to its spirit.
***
The siccative packet in a shoe box
read, unaccountably, Do not eat.
***
Although I have the confirmation code,
they said they could not use it to confirm
any of the particulars of my account.
***
He inserted his vagina into my subpoena.
***
Are there any further
difficulties,
the psychiatrist asked her,
listing while she sobbed.
***
In my words and in my deeds, in what I have done
and what I have failed to do.
***
Take, the medicine bottle advises,
until distress
subsides.
***
En abyme, ad initio
In the beginning was the
***
She said oh for zero, she said
my set for her breasts and his package for her lovers’ genitalia.
***
He’d never really understood the difference
between contractions and possessives
but knew to call a doctor if contractions
came ten minutes apart.
He’d always secretly wondered why if is was
the present tense they always called it
the verb-to-be, as if it hadn’t yet arrived,
and if that was what led to all
it’s present
tension.
***
What is this word decussate? This cross, this deca-, this 10, this
chi, this intersect, this eliminator, this ancient, formidable X?
***
The sung liturgy’s reiterant
in the mind: We who mystically
represent
represent
the cherubim
rep re sent
the che e e ru bim
now lay aside all earthly cares…
O terra infirma. The confirmation
code will confirm—
on earth or heaven—
no transaction.
***
Take, until distress subsides.
Until the difficulties,
one by one, subside.
***
I’m not sure I got
that: did that sign
say God is nowhere
or God is now here,
or both?
***
Live person,
please.
Because some days being feels
experimental, randomized,
placebo-suspect, double-blind,
some voice inside the hissing
keeps saying to us (robotic, anachronistic): Reenter the code.