Neptune salad days circa ~ 197_ to 199_

WAWA sold neptune salad out of this world,
and I never tasted anything so delicious
this side of the solar system
they sold out like hotcakes
and put the powder milk biscuit factory
long a staple of the
Norwegian Bachelor farmer community,
flat out of business,
that handsome lot of gentlemen,
who found the flapjacks like biscuits
(said descendants of the Norse invasion
the latter part
of the nineteenth century)
dense as cement, and in fact
built their city of Lake Wobegon
courtesy said baked material
(actually more of a hamlet
to be or not to be at first)
analogous to newfoundland,
but that name already taken
so consensus found unanimous agreement
with the less glamorous
and more descriptive appellation
Woebegone (often mistakenly
spelled "woebegotten"),
an adjective that describes someone
or something displaying deep sorrow,
misery, or a generally
run-down, pitiable state
to invite schadenfreude,
when in truth there could not be
a happier and hip bunch of bruisers
on the face of the earth,
who adopted and data mined
the mean mien of the Grinch
as their Seussian mascot
to sow discord
in their newly adopted dominion
which ofttimes backfired
with tragi-comic results
subsequently finding those missionaries
for gloom and doom
to actually effectively,
and indubitably be sucked in
(cue the sound of a vacuum cleaner)
to their own gag
primarily known today
through the famous idiom
"hoist with one's own petard,"
which means being victimized
or ruined by your own schemes.

While puttering around
wallowing in their own despair
spending time ice fishing
and slapping together
remnants of leftovers meals
one among their number,
who sought peace of body,
and mind within his soul asylum
experienced a culinary brainstorm
and thus commenced tossing
an even number of odds and ends
into a moderate size mixing bowl
before (analogous to a magician
waving a magic wand)
a savory blend materialized sans
all in one meal resulted,
and since he happened
to be tuned into a special report
about Neptune, hence the name 
(while scientific expert 
rather Doctor of Philosophy
did jibberjabber in his/her specialty -
citing mathematical formulaic details)
as back-round id est white coated noise 
unaware to him/her listeners oblivious
to esoteric information
courtesy National Public Radio
delved off sine qua non tangent 
into the origin 
of the universe in general 
(from an infinitesimal speck 
that behoves yours truly id est – me, 
how such an itty bitty 
teensy weensy pink 
polka dot soundcloud 
the imperceptible invisibility
minute size which blew apart 
with an extemporaneous, instantaneous 
and spontaneous bitta bing 
bitta bang pink polka dotted bikinis 
to create the space/time continuum 
into existence way beyond 
the speculation and intelligence 
of this generic guy noir), 
who only recognizes 
the absolute zero significance 
of a pitiful existence
one Homo sapiens sapiens 
among the human league cast 
into an ill-fated 
series of unfortunate events 
that brought my mindset 
to this (ahem) cosmic 
consciousness state of awareness 
that organic chemicals 
of my body, mind and spirit 
repurposed from stardust itself, 
where and how the matter 
in the universe 
came into being originally, 
a thought exercise 
that becomes a blur 
when trying to contemplate 
the sheer enormity 
of the greatest mystery 
stupefying countless civilizations 
(and their discontents) 
for millenniums and even now 
astrophysicists still stymied 
to explain the birth 
of an inquisitive mind,
who experiences raw exhilaration

when daring himself

to speculate about life, liberty

and the pursuit of happiness
abstract notions many another

creature wise and wonderful

doth not give a rat's ass about,

but merely going 
about their built instintual focus 
to be fruitful and multiply
concentrating on the here and now
rather than distracted

by such petty pontification

concerning Homo sapiens sapiens

idle ruminating about the satellites

away beyond the asteroid belt
a vast, torus-shaped region 
of the Solar System 
located roughly between 
the orbits of Mars and Jupiter
populated by millions 
of rocky, metallic, 
and icy remnants—
known as asteroids—
that constitutes leftovers 
from the formation 
of our solar system 
about 4.6 billion years ago
worthwhile pondering at liberty
while sitting on the toilet
vetting excrement out ur-anus
a fraternal twin of adjacent planet
also known as the Blue Giant
on account of large size
and vivid color,
counted as one
of the outermost planets
in our (currently owned 
by Elon Musk) Solar System,
and by jove joins Uranus, Saturn
and Jupiter as one of the giant planets.