Classic Poem

A Merry Tale

A merry Tale I will rehearse,
As ever you did hear, Sir;
How Jonathan sat out so fierce,
To see his dearest dear, Sir.
His father gave him a new suit,
And money, Sir, in plenty;
Besides a prancing nag to boot,
When he was one and twenty.
And more than that I'd have you know,
That he had got some knowledge,
Enough for common use or so,
But had not been to college.
A hundred he could count, 'tis said,
And in the bible read, Sir,
And by good Christian parents bred,
Could almost say the creed, sir.
One day his mother said to him,
" Come here my son, come here,
Come fix you up so neat and trim,
And go a courting dear. "
Why what a plague does mother want?
I snigs! I dare not go;
I shall get fun'd — and then plague on't,
Folks will laugh at me so.
Poh! poh! fix up, for you shall go,
And see the Deacon's Sarah;
She has a great estate you know,
Besides she wants to marry.
Then Jonathan in best array,
Did mount his dappled nag,
But trembling sadly all the way,
Lest he should get the bag.
When he came there, as people say,
'Twas nearly eight o'clock,
And Moll she halloo'd, " in — I say, "
As soon as he did knock.
He made of bows 'twixt two and three,
Just as his mother taught him,
All which were droll enough to see;
You'd think the cramp had caught him.
Now this was all the manners he
From home with him had brought,
Namely of bows 'twixt two and three,
The rest he had forgot,
At length came in the Deacon's Sal,
From milking at the barn,
And faith she was as good a girl
As ever twisted yarn.
The ladies all, as I should guess,
And many a lady's man,
Would wish to know about her dress,
I'll tell them all I can.
Her wrapper gray was not so bad,
Her apron it was blue —
One stocking on one foot she had,
On t'other one a shoe.
Now Jonathan did scratch his head,
When first he saw his dear,
Got up, sat down, but nothing said,
Because he felt so queer.
Then all the folks went off to bed;
It seem'd they took the hint.
But Jonathan was so afraid,
Sal thought the deuce was in't.
" At length says Sal there gone you see,
And left us here together; "
Says Jonathan " I think they be —
'Tis very pleasant weather. "
Sal cast a sheep's eye at the dunce,
And sat towards the fire,
He muster'd courage all at once,
And hitch'd a little nigher.
Ye young men all, and lads so smart,
Who chance to read these verses,
His next address you'll learn by heart,
To whisper to the lasses!
" Why Sal, I's going to say as how —
You'll stay with me to night,
I kind o'love you Sal, I vow —
And mother said I might. "
" Well done, " says Sal, " you've broke the ice,
With very little pother,
Now Jonathan take my advice,
And always mind your mother. "
" Well Sal, I'll tell you what, " says he,
" If you will have me now,
We will be marry'd then, you see,
You'll have our brindle cow,
And father's got a great bull calf,
Which you shall have I vow. "
" Tell him, " says Sal, " he'd best, by half,
Keep his bull calves at home. "
Now Jonathan felt rather bad,
He thought she meant to joke him,
And though he was a spunky lad,
His courage quite forsook him.
Sal ask'd him if his heart was whole!
His chin began to quiver;
He did not know he felt so droll,
He guess'd he'd lost his liver.
Now Sal was scar'd out of her wits,
To see his trepidation,
She bawl'd " he's going into fits, "
And scamper'd like the nation,
A pail of water she did throw
Upon her trembling lover,
Which wet the lad from top to toe,
Like a drown'd rat all over.
Then Jonathan he hurried home.
And since I've heard him brag, sir,
That though the jade had wet him some,
He did not get the bag, Sir.