Classic Poem

I can't lend it to you. I am not the same as last year.
I can see it. Under the signboard of a shop of cold noodle —
We went in for hot beef soup and came out — to a shop of buckwheat noodles only —
young prostitutes were sitting with crossed dirty legs.
No, it's not what I came to think when I was looking at them eating noodles with fried tofu.
At the time, I thought to lend it to you. With the virtue of generosity —
I could do that. I could see it too. I could sacrifice even Ionesco
in the Encounter . That is
nothing. I was standing before it. My body. Shining
body.

I have believed it so everyday. I moved to another room. My
son moved into my room, I moved into the room the kitchen maid
used. But, the private teacher who shared the room with my first son hated
my coughing. Recognizing even dropping my pen, even
waking up, even opening the door, he took
defensive measures. So, I returned to the inner room, and the kitchen maid
occupied the room where the coughing sound gets to the private teacher. I had no doubt until that time.
I was ready to lend the book to you, to entrust all of my pride,
properties and tools to you.

I have believed so everyday, then suddenly it became different.
Why different. This is my question. This is my concern.
Even now, I can lend it to you. But, the opposite is possible too.
Do not force me too much. Be patient
and wait for the solution. Now is the time not to lend it to you.
Only by not doing so, I can see time. I say, I am fighting against time. There was time.
I came not to lend it to you. It's time. It's because I felt time. Because
I liked time.

Time is my life. I am not the same as before. I know
I became different. I came to know I should be
different. I need to let you know that. You might not know
that point is more important than this book. I would live from now on
letting you know that — — Will it be
possible? If so? If not? You! You are shining.
We are not shining. Yesterday is not shining,
nor is today. Only the juncture of these shines.
It is only time that is shining. It is only the recognition of time
that is shining.
I won't lend it to you. Although I promised to, I
will not. I was weak and avoided making a blunt declaration,
hanging around until tomorrow and the next day.
I don't have to make a blunt declaration. I may tell a lie.

It's enough that I would not lend it to you. I am enough,
you too. This is how the world is.