Classic Poem

In all the Earth, between the wide extreams
Of Gades West, and Eastern Ganges Streams
Free from a Cloud of Error few have skill
To know what's truly good for 'em, or ill,
With Reason what do we desire or fear?
What do you aim at (be it ne're so dear)
Or luckily begun ) but when 'tis gain'd,
You soon repent you of your wish obtain'd?
What Families the easie Gods o'rethrow,
Granting those Pray'rs they make themselves t' undo!
For harmful Offices we blindly pray
In Peace , as well as War, not seldom they,
Who flow with purest streams of Eloquence ,
Show those rich Torrents at their lives expence:
Milo confiding in the wondrous strength
Of Brawny arms, perish't by that at length
But most by Wealth (rak'd up with anxious care
Exceeding usual Patrimonies farr
As Brittish Whales do Dolphins ) ruin'd are
In Nero's bloody times, Troops of arm'd bands
Begirt Longinus House, at his commands,
And, in his Princely Gardens , did enclose
The too rich Seneca , and Besieged the house
Of Lateranus; but they ne're infest
The Garret, or the poor mans Room molest.
Though Journying you but little Silver bear
By Night, a Sword, or Quarter staff you fear;
And a Reeds motion in a Moon-light Night
Shall make you quake and tremble with the fright
While the poor man void of all precious things
In Company with Thieves jogg's on and Sings.
Almost the first, and most known vows are these
In all the Temples , may our Wealth encrease;
Our Treasure swell, and may our Chest alone
Befor its lageness in the Forum known
No Poyson is in Earthen Vessels brought
In Gold adorn'd with Gemms beware each draught.
When in wide bowls there sparkles Setine Wine ,
How do you then approve his wise Design,
Who with continual scorn did Laughter vent?
When 'ere one step beyond his Doors he went?
O'th' contrary, Another still did wail,
To laugh at silly things we cannot fail.
But what prodigious Fountain could supply,
For each occasion, moisture to his eye?
Perpetual Laughter did the Lungs excite,
Of Wise Democritus the Abderite ;
Yet no Prætexta , nor no Trabea there,
No Litters, Fasces , nor Tribunals were:
Had he within the dusty Circus been
And our vain Prætor , with exalted meen
Standing within his lofty Charriot seen:
In Joves embroyder'd Coat, and Tyrian Gown,
Hung with a Mantle from his Shoulders down,
Large as a Piece of Tap'stry with a Crown,
An orb too large for one neck to sustain,
His publick servant , with much sweat and pain,
Behind him does those weighty Ensigns bear,
And in that very Charriot must appear.
Not pleas'd too much must the great Consul be,
With him a slave to check his Pride we see,
Add th' I'vry Scepter which the Prætor bears
On which the Eagle upon wing appears;
Here the loud Cornets march, and there before,
Long Troops of Clients , and of laves great store:
A train of white rob'd Citizens attends
The Charriot Wheeles , which mercenary friends
The Sportula did make. How had his spleen
Been exercis'd if he all this had seen?
Who could in all Assemblies of Mankind
(Then wiser much) just cause of Larghter find,
His wondrous prudence plainly does declare
A boggy soil , a dark and foggy Air
The Gountrey full of Sheepsheads may give birth
To greatest men , and best examples upon Earth.
He laugh'd at Vulgar business, Vulgar cares ,
He both their joy derided, and their Tears .
When threatning Fortune seem'd on him to frown,
Upon her power he could look bravely down;
With scorn he pointed at her, and could say
Be hang'd; whilest ev'ry thing for which we pray ,
And fix with Wax our vows upon the knees
Of all the most propitious Deities ,
Is or superfluous, or pernicious known,
Some from high pow'r by envy headlong thrown,
Some by inscriptions fill'd with each degree
Of all their Noble Titles , ruin'd be;
Their Statues are with Halters drag'd about
The Streets , as objects for the scoffing Rout .
The Charriot Wheeles must feel the Axes stroke,
And the poor innocent Horses Legs be broke.
Now the Smiths Forges hiss, the Bellows play,
And that same head so much ador'd to day,
That head , red hot within the fire became,
And great Sejanus crackled in the flame:
Mechanicks soon from that so Worship't face
Which bore in all the World the second place,
Forge little Platters , and small water Cans
With Basons, Chamber-pots , and Frying-pans .
With Laurel Garlands be our Houses Crown'd;
Make hast and let the large White Bull be found,
And drawn to Capitolian Jove ; for now
Sejanus is become a publick show:
Drag'd by a Hook , fix'd in his throat , and all
The Vulgar shout at this great Fav'rites fall.
Bless me what ugly blabber-lipps had he!
A hanging look! and, if you'l credit me,
This fellow I could never once abide.
Can you tell pray for what great crime he dyed?
Who the Informer? who the Evidence?
What Ouvert Act? what proof of his Offence?
None, none of these, but a long Letter sent
From Capreæ , full of words and Eloquent.
'Tis well, I shall enquire no more: what now
Does all the crowd of Roman People do?
It alwaies follows Fortune, and does hate
All who are wretched, and condemned by Fate.
Her Tuscans cause had Goddess Nurscia blest,
And the secure old Emperour been opprest,
Sejanus it had call'd this very hour,
Augustus , and saluted Emperour .
Romans , since they no suffrages could boast
Supinely careless, all great thoughts have lost
Who Fasces Legions Empire all things gave,
But two poor things solicitously crave,
That they may bread , and Games 'th Circus have:
Yet many more there are condemn'd I hear.
No doubt. the Emperours rage does hot appear.
I met Brutidius pale and wan with fear,
At Mars his Altar , looking as hee'd kill
Himself, like Ajax , when his cause succeeded ill.
Lets run with speed while yet the Carkass lies
Upon the bank under the Gemonies ,
That we may spurn at Cæsars Enemy.
Call all our Slaves , and let 'em all stand by,
Least any of them should the fact deny.
And therefore should their trembling Masters draw
Bound by their necks, to tryal of the Law.
Thus 'bout Sejanus they their thoughts declare,
And thus the Vulgars secret murmurs are.
Now would you have Sejanus wealth and pow'r ,
And be saluted as he was before?
Give this 'ith State , the Chief Authority ;
To this 'ith' Army highest Dignity :
Or would you Guarduan of an Emp'rour reckon'd be?
Who lulls himself in narrow Capreæ's Grots
With his lewd herd of Astrologick Sots?
Should you desire to lead a mighty Band
Of Foot and Horse , and the Prœtorian Camp command;
I grant that those may wish the power to kill,
Who are too merciful to have the will .
But what can prosp'rous Dignity avail,
When th' ill outwei'ghs the good in every Scale?
Would you his noble Purple Garment wear,
Who to the Gemonies is dragg'd, or bear
In some small City small Authority?
In homely woollen Robes some Ædile be,
And sit in Judgment over measures there,
Breaking those Vessels which too small appear?
You will confess Sejanus knew not then
What things were fit to be desir'd by men .
Who too great wealth or honours do acquire,
But raise their Tow'rs so many Stories higher,
T' encrease their fall , and make their ruine worse;
Which from the dreadful prœcipice has greater force
What Crassus or Great Pompey overthrew,
Or him who Rome did to his lash subdue?
Chief Pow'r by all vile artifices gain'd,
And vows from the maligning Gods obtein'd.
Most Kings to Death by Blood and Slaughter go,
And a dry Death few Tyrants ever know.
The rawest Boy who scarce has con'd one Rule,
His little Slave bearing his Books to School,
During the space of those five solemn days.
When are Minerva's rites perform'd still prays
He may the Fame , and Eloquence possess
Of Pow'rful Tully and Demosthenes .
When deadiy was their Wits oreflowing spring ,
And Death to both their Eloquence did bring.
For Wit those hands nail'd to the Rostra were
That head cut off too, but the Rostra ne're
Did silly Lawyer with his Blood besmear.
Oh Rome innate most fortunate in me ,
When I thy Consul did consult for thee
Had he spoke alwaies thus; he safely might
Antonius rage, and bloody Cut-throats slight.
Of silly Verses I had rather be
Author, Divine Philippick than of thee .
The second of Illustrious Fame 'gainst Antony .
So was th' admir'd Athenian snatch'd away
By sudden death, whose Eloquence could sway
Which way he pleas'd, and make whole Theatres obey
Unhappy in his geniture , by th' hate
Oth' angry Gods , and his own evil Fate .
Th' old Man by Fumes of red hot Metals made
Blear-ey'd remov'd, his Son from his own Trade ,
From making Swords , the Anvil, Tongs and Coles ,
From Smoaky Forges, sooty Vulcans Tools
To the most Fatal Rhetoricians Schools.
On Trophies fixt the Spoils by Battel won,
An Helmet cleft, the Beaver hanging down,
A Coat of Mayle , a broken Axletree ;
A Galleys Flag obtain'd by Victory .
On a Triumphant Arches utmost height,
A Captive with a look disconsolate,
Then all our Humane Goods some value more.
The Roman Grecian Barbarous Emperour
Fiercely aspire at these, and from these Spoils,
Arise their several Dangers and their Toils.
Virtue's less thirsted for than Fame, for who,
Her, for her self, Rewardless will pursue?
Our Country yet by some, in Ancient days,
Has ruin'd been for Glory ; for vain Praise ;
And swelling Titles , which they had impos'd
On Stones, in which their Ashes were enclos'd.
Those Monuments of Stone were yet so weak,
Them the wild Fig-Tree could in pieces break
The proudest Tombs have but a certain Date,
And Sepulchres themselves must yield to Fate.
Go weigh your Hannibal , how many pound
At length is of your mighty General found?
Yet Africk could not his Ambition bound
Whose Western Shores th' Atlantick Ocean beats:
And Eastward stretches out to Nilu's Heats.
To Æthiopian Inhabitants,
And to a different kind of Elephants :
Spain must be joyn'd; the Prvrenæans now
Be passed; Nature opposes th' Alpes and Snow
Rocks he devided, a nd the Mountains he
With Vinegar broke, making his passage free;
And takes possession then of Italy .
Yet after all, says he; still pressing on,
My Carthaginian Troops have nothing done,
Till we the Gates of Rome have overthrown,
And fix'd our Banners in th' Heart of all the Town
Rare Visage, what a Picture 'twould appear,
When the Getulian Beast does th' one Ey'd General beat!
Oh Glory! what of all was the event?
Conquer'd he headlong run to Banishment.
The great and wonderous Captain in's Retreat,
Is a poor Client at a Judgment Seat :
Meanly he waits his sad Addresse to make
Till the Bythinian Tyrant please to wake;
His Turbulent Life (which such Confusion hurld
With Swords, Stones, Darts into the shaken world)
By none of these could perish no one thing,
Vengeance for all the Blood he spilt, could bring,
Or Revenge Cannæ , but a little Ring .
Run o're the rugged Alps , thou hot-brained Fool!
To be declaim'd on, and please Boys at School,
Philip's fierce Son, one World too little found,
And Frets, and Fumes poor Wretch! within the narrow bound
As if in Rocky Gyaræ he were pent,
Or small Seriphus . Yet he was content
With a small Coffin , when to Babylon he went
Death the plain-dealer does alone declare
How very little Great Mens Bodies are.
Athos 'twas thought was Sail'd about of old,
And men believed all tales which lying Greece e're told.
That all the Hellespont from shore to shore
Was pav'd with Ships and Charriot-Wheles run o're.
While Xerxes din'd th' innumerable fry
Of this Great host , would drink deep Rivers dry,
As Sostratus in's Cups was wont to lye.
When Salamis he left, what fate's behind
For him who us'd to rage and whip the wind?
Barbarian! what lash Corus Eurus too?
Worse then ev'n Æolus would in their Prisons do:
He did in Chains Earth-shaking Neptune bind,
And 'twas his mercy he had not design'd
To Stigmatize him like a Slave: what God
Would not desire to be at such a Hero's nod?
But how return'd he? slowly in one Boat
Through shoals of bodies, which did round him float
In bloody Waves. These are oftimes the pains
Immoderate desire of glory gains:
Jove grant large space of life, and length of days
With Confidence and vehemence one pray.
Ne're thinking what continual griefs attend,
And under what great ills old age does bend.
A Face deform'd , of horrid colour grown,
Unlike himself, his flabby cheeks hang down
'Stead of a Skin he has an ugly hide ,
Wither'd and rough with wrinckles deep and wide,
Such as in shady Woods of Tabraca ,
On rivled Cheeks, old Mother Ape does claw:
In youth there many great distinctions are
One is more strong, the other is more fair.
But in ali old mens Faces there's no choice,
Limbs paralytick , trembling is the voice ,
With a bald pate , and with a nasty nose
That's ever dropping as an Infants does,
He mumbles bread between his toothless Gumms
Irksome to's Wife, and Children he becomes
He's ev'n by Cossa loath'd, that abject Knave ,
That fawns and waits a Legacy to have.
Nor Wine nor Meat delight as in time past,
His Palate's now benum'd h' as lost his tast,
'Tis long, long, since a Woman he Embrac'd.
A long forgetfulness has seiz'd the part
Beyond the Cure of any Pains or Art.
Tho' all the Night he dallies, 'tis in vain,
It still does a poor Chiterlin remain.
What pleasure can the weak Old Doting Fool,
Expect from that infirm and Aged Tool?
Where Lust remains without Ability ,
Men must suspect unnatural Letchery
Consider now another Sence declin'd,
In choicest Songs no pleasure he can find,
Sung by Seleucus , or the best o'th' kind,
Who all Embroider'd on the Stage appear
Where e're he sits, the Songs he cannot hear,
Cornets nor Trumpets, be he ne're;
His Boy must hallow what's a Clock in's Ear
In his Cold Corps , what little Blood Remains ,
Without a Feaver , ne're is warm in's Veins;
In him what Troops of Maladies abound!
And in his feeble Carkass dance their round!
More than Adultrer's Hippia e're enjoy'd,
Or then sick Men by Themison destroy'd
In a whole Autumne, or the Associates
Plunder'd by Basius , or the Estates.
Irus from all his Wards got by foul play,
More then the Cullies in a Summers day,
Maura e're drein'd; and more then of his Boys,
Hamillus the lew'd Pedagogue enjoys.
And more than of his Villas now are seen,
Who snapt his Fingers at my youthful Chin:
This Old Man's Shoulders, th' others reins, his Thighs
Disabled are, this has lost both his Eyes:
And envies him to whom one Eye is left,
To this Man of the use of hands bereft,
Through his pale Lips, his Meat must others give.
He gapes while others fingers him relieve
Yawn's like young Swallows (Meat being in their Eyes)
To whom, with her full Mouth the bungry Mother flies
But loss of Sense and Memory is more
Grievous, than all his loss of Limbs before.
Ev'n his own Servants Names he does forget,
And his Friends Face , with whom last Night he Eat.
Those he forgets whom he begot and Bred.
For by his cruel will, they're disinherited.
Which does his Wealth on Phiale intail,
So does the subtle Strumpets Mouth prevail,
Who was so stale a prostituted Whore,
That many Years she stood in the Stews Door:
Suppose his Sense of mind when Old intire,
He must behold his Childrens Funeral Fire .
His Lov'd Wives Pile, Brothers and Sisters Urns ,
And often for his num'rous Kindred Mourns,
Who are by Death's repeated Blow destroy'd,
With such like pains the long-liv'd Man's annoy'd.
His Aged Heart with daily sorrow Bleeds,
And he grows Old still in fresh Mourning Weeds.
The Pyllan King (if Homer you'll allow)
For length of Life was reckon'd next the Crow .
Happy so many Ages to withstand,
Death's Blow, counting his Years on his Right-Hand;
And had so many Autumns drunk New Wine ,
But how did he at Fates Decrees repine?
And on his too long thread of Life exclaim?
When he beheld within the Funeral flame
The fierce Antilochus his bearded Son?
To all his Friends long life he did bemoan,
And ask'd them all for what vile horrid crime
He had deserv'd to live till that unhappy time?
Thus Peleus mourn'd for his Achilles lost,
For Ithacus Ten years on th' Ocean tost
Laertes thus complain'd. While flourishing Troy
Yet unattempted, did full peace enjoy,
Old Priam might amidst t