Classic Poem

" HOW would Willie like to go
To the Land of Thus-and-So?
Everything is proper there —
All the children comb their hair
Smoother than the fur of cats,
Or the nap of high silk hats;
Every face is clean and white
As a lily washed in light;
Never vaguest soil or speck
Found on forehead, throat or neck;
Every little crimpled ear,
In and out, as pure and clear
As the cherry-blossom's blow
In the Land of Thus-and-So.

" Little boys that never fall
Down the stairs, or cry at all —
Doing nothing to repent,
Watchful and obedient;
Never hungry, nor in haste —
Tidy shoe-strings always laced,
Never button rudely torn
From its fellows all unworn;
Knickerbockers always new —
Ribbon, tie, and collar, too;
Little watches, worn like men,
Always promptly half past ten —
Just precisely right, you know,
For the Land of Thus-and-So!

" And the little babies there
Give no one the slightest care —
Nurse has not a thing to do
But be happy and sigh " Boo!"
While Mamma just nods, and knows
Nothing but to doze and doze:
Never litter round the grate;
Never lunch or dinner late;
Never any household din
Peals without or rings within —
Baby coos nor laughing calls
On the stairs or through the halls —
Just Great Hushes to and fro
Pace the Land of Thus-and-So!

" Oh! the Land of Thus-and-So!
Isn't it delightful, though? "
" Yes, " lisped Willie, answering me
Somewhat slow and doubtfully —
" Must be awful nice, but I
Ruther wait till by and by
'Fore I go there — maybe when
I be dead I'll go there then . —
But " — the troubled little face
Closer pressed in my embrace —
" Le's don't never ever go
To the Land of Thus-and-So! "