Classic Poem

Oh , the Roman was a rogue,
—He erat was, you bettum;
He ran his automobilis
—And smoked his cigarettum;
He wore a diamond studibus
—And elegant cravattum,
A maxima cum laude shirt,
—And such a stylish hattum!

He loved the luscious hic-hæc-hoc,
—And bet on games and equi;
At times he won; at others, though,
—He got it in the nequi;
He winked (quo usque tandem?)
—At puellas on the Forum,
And sometimes even made
—Those goo-goo oculorum!

He frequently was seen
—At combats gladiatorial,
And ate enough to feed
—Ten boarders at Memorial;
He often went on sprees
—And said, on starting homus,
“Hic labor—opus est,
—Oh, where's my hic—hic—domus?”

Although he lived in Rome—
—Of all the arts the middle—
He was (excuse the phrase)
—A horrid individ'l;
Ah! what a different thing
—Was the homo (dative, hominy)
Of far away B. C.
—From us of Anno Domini.