Dion Titheradge , 1921

VERSE 1

I seem to be the victim of a cruel jest,
It dogs my footsteps with the girl I love the best.
She's just the sweetest thing that I have ever known,
But still we never get the chance to be alone.

REFRAIN 1

My car will meet her —
And her mother comes too!
It's a two-seater —
Still her mother comes too!
At Ciro's when I am free,
At dinner, supper, or tea,
She loves to shimmy with me —
And her mother does too!
We buy her trousseau —
And her mother comes too!
Asked not to do so —
Still her mother comes too!
She simply can't take a snub,
I go and sulk at the club,
Then have a bath and a rub —
And her brother comes too!

VERSE 2

There may be times when couples need a chaperone,
But mothers ought to learn to leave a chap alone.
I wish they'd have a heart and use their common sense,
For three's a crowd, and more, it's treble the expense.

REFRAIN 2

We lunch at Maxim's —
And her mother comes too!
How large a snack seems —
When her mother comes too!
And when they're visiting me,
We finish afternoon tea,
She loves to sit on my knee —
And her mother does too!
To golf we started —
And her mother came too!
Three bags I carted —
When her mother came too!
She fainted just off the tee,
My darling whispered to me —
" Jack, dear, at last we are free! " —
But her mother came to!