Member Poem

Yeah, I carried it so well.
But that doesn't mean it wasn't heavy.
It was too heavy, but still, I had to carry it anyway.

I silently passed some beautiful places I deeply wished to enter and remain in, even for just a single day.
I had dreamt of counting the distance between stars and chasing galaxies. But that dream was so distant from me, so I just sat in my room, drawing my dreams on paper.
I watched the world around me moving so fast, and I longed to join them, but still, I had to observe it all through a window.

I had seen many people—those I never thought would change—changing right before my eyes, but still, I acted like I didn’t care.
I was there with the wounded, wrapping their wounds and keeping them warm, though no one noticed that my hands were trembling.

While everyone was planting their own gardens and watching them bloom, I was left to only feel the wind passing through their gardens.
I had loved without being loved back, but still, I chose to believe in love.
I had died so many times, even though I never stopped breathing. Yet still, I chose to live.
I was falling, but still, I bloomed—beautifully, in the very places where I fell.

You don’t even know me, yet you think you do.
You judge me by my story—one you’ve heard.
You gave it meaning through your own eyes.
But were you there when I was drowning?
Did you raise your hand to save me?

You didn’t see the silent battles I fought alone.
You didn’t walk with me along that path of highs and lows.
When I was fighting my own demons, there was no shoulder to lean on

You must understand—the moon has a side we never see.
And while you blame the sunlight, you stare at the moonlight with such passion—
not knowing it’s the sun that makes the moon glow and the stars twinkle.

What is the meaning of a relationship if you are expecting the whole ocean without giving the other a single drop of water?
Is that fair?
Do your grades and certificates make you wiser or higher than others?
If you think you are, you are the narrow-minded I have ever known.
What is the worth of a heart that only pumps blood but doesn’t hold feelings or emotions in it?
What’s the meaning of your love—even if you’re put garlands around my neck and give me salutations—if you keep sending me to the same kind of deadly battles over and over?

You water your plants in the best ways,
while advising others to give up on theirs because they don’t have any flowers blooming.
You are sending others to hell
while praying for a place in heaven.

All this time, I just wanted to play the best role in others’ stories.
But in the end, instead of being Aurora, I had to become Maleficent.
What is the meaning of wanting to paint someone's sky in blue, if they really want their sky to be so red?

No matter how many beautiful views and crowds surrounded the road I walked—if it wasn’t mine to walk, it never felt like home.
It felt like I was singing in an empty hall, without an audience, without anyone to applaud.
But now, I am used to it—singing my favorite symphonies not caring who is there or who stops to listen.

So don’t ask me where I turned around or where I disappeared to.
We are all souls on a journey,
but the saddest part of our story is that we never met by our souls—we only met the bodies, the outcomes, and the skins.
So you couldn’t see what’s inside of others,
because you’re not silent enough to hear what their souls are whispering.

I will never cry over the things that slipped through my fingers.
Even if I couldn’t chase the galaxies,
I will always be grateful for the rainbows
and the kaleidoscope of butterflies
that I have seen.