Member Poem

I sit in silence as the room fills with people.
People I know and people I've never seen.
My Uncle Mael walking back and forth. As he keeps looking at the doors, we came in.
My Dad whispering to others while they "wailed" as he called it. Although I'm unsure what that means.
My older brother sitting beside me as he keeps looking at me with concern.
This older boy in a white coat. With this sad look on his face as he walks this way.
This lady whose all dressed up in a fancy dress with golden shoes.
Click. Click. Goes the metal of the ladies' shoes as they clashed with the grey tile.
Bing. Bong. Goes the brown clock that hangs on the pale walls.
Hum. Hum. Goes the vents that lay resting on the floor.
Mumble. Grumble. Goes a fancy-dressed dressed man as he silently stares at the fancy-dressed lady.

What's going on here? A family gathering.

I was once a very respected man.
One of great importance and respect.
But what's happened tonight for which I can only fault myself.
I can't continue to be that here tonight.
All these people are greatly grief-stricken.
Even those completely unaware yet.
So that is why I shall remain forever indebted to this family.
Catering to everyone. Even the smallest of children.

What's going on here? A party?

I'm not sure what to think here honestly.
I mean. I'm numb, I guess. Am I broken because of this?
Probably not. I'm just not sad per se. Just worried.
Addey seems virtually unaffected by this.
She's probably blissfully unaware of what's happened.
Even as the gurneys flood the hallways.
I'm just concerned she'll catch on.
Her remaining blissfully unaware is for the best.

What's going on here? A movie?

My dear Maddie how I hope you're not mad.
I know that this isn't right nor wrong.
It shouldn't have gone this way.
I sh sh-should've been gone first.
I can't bring you back here.
I can't pick you up and carry you past the threshold of our house like I did when we were 20.
I can't stay up until 12:30 helping you with your degree while we ate popcorn and watched The Notebook.
I can promise you though. I'll watch Addey for you.
I'll make sure someone truthful will carry her across the threshold of her house.
I'll see she has memorable moments with all of us.
I won't let her, or anyone forget you.

What's going on here? Why's everyone sad?

They say grief and trauma change a person.
Shapes who they are going forward.
It was my car that caused this.
My decision to wear these heels.
My decision to tell Alec to speed up.
My decision to tell Alec to run the red.
My decision to swerve right. Everything was my decision.
Therefore, I can’t decipher between what’s real and what’s not
And I will spend years trying to save the only good part of me.
I will make up for my decisions.
And forever say sorry to Maddie Le.

What's going on here? Why are we leaving?

Riding back to the house.
Everything looks so surreal.
Like this is our life.
Maddie used to be in this life.
Maddie Le used to be a person, but now she isn't.
And nobody around me seems to be aware of that.
That just 4 hours ago
Mael Watts's twin sister got hit at just 31.
Andy Le's wife got hit with him unscathed.
Braden Le is without a mother at just 16.
Addey Le an Innocent 4-year-old lost her mother.
And two people are plagued with guilt.
And yet nobody in the world reacts.

What's going on here? Why aren't we going home?

Uncle Mael? Dad? Braden?
“Where's Mommy at?”
"Don't worry Addey she'll be back. You just go to sleep."

Addey smiled before staring out the window.
As she looked into sparkled simplicity.