Classic Poem

VERSE

Down in Washington, D.C.
Men are working busily
In a place they call the mint.
They make coins and also print
Very excellent engraving,
Which the rest of us keep saving,
Printed up in black and green.
It's the darndest stuff
You've ever seen.

REFRAIN 1

If you've got it,
You don't need it.
If you need it,
You don't got it.
You don't get it,
Shame on you!
Funny, funny, funny
What money can do!
Them that have it
Get more of it.
Less they need it,
More they love it,
And it sticks to
Them like glue.
Funny, funny, funny
What money can do!
Ask the rich man,
He'll confess
Money can't buy
Happiness.
Ask the poor man,
He don't doubt,
But he'd rather be miserable
With than without.
If you spend it,
Please be wiser.
If you save it,
You're a miser.
You don't want it,
You're cuckoo!
Funny, funny, funny
What money can do!

PATTER

A nickel or dime or penny,
La la lu lu,
Is better than not having any,
La la lu lu.
A half a dollar or a quarter,
La la lu lu,
Makes people do a lot of things they hadn't ever oughter do!

REFRAIN 2

If you do not
Need it badly,
Banks will give it
To you gladly.
If you need it,
Nuts to you!
Funny, funny, funny
What money can do!
If you're lucky
And you make it,
You're so frightened
Who might take it
Stomach ulcers
Come to you.
Funny, funny, funny
What money can do!
Birds don't got it,
Still they sing,
Eating worms
Upon the wing;
Ideal life,
Some folks affirm.
So O.K., you're a bird,
But suppose you're a worm.
It's a bad thing,
Oh yes, very,
Full of germs un-
Sanitary.
Will I have some?
Oh, thank you!
Funny, funny, funny
What money can do!