Classic Poem

As he obtains such an enchanted skin,
That bullets cast aright could ne'er get in;
Even so thou, Monsieur, tempered hast thy name,
That to dispraise thee most is yet no shame;
To curse is to befriend, who, like a Jew,
Art both a vagabond and monied too;
Who feed'st on Hebrew roots, and, like a tare,
Unbid, unwelcome, thrivest every where;
Who mak'st all letters by thy guttural,
And brings the conjugations to Kall;
Who though thou live by grammar rules, we see
Thou break'st all canons of morality;
And as far as that threadbare cloak of thine
Is out of fashion, dost from man decline;
And com'st as near a wit, as doth a rat
Match in procerity Mount Ararat;
And art as fit to be a brewer's punk,
As Sumerburn is valiant when he's drunk.