Classic Poem

VERSE

Once I used to brag about my handy man,
But I ain't braggin' no more.
Somethin' strange has happened to my handy man,
He's not the man he was before.
I wish somebody would explain to me
About this dual personality.

REFRAIN 1

He don't perform his duties like he used to do,
He never hauls the ashes 'less I tell him to,
Before he hardly gets to work he says he's through;
My handy man ain't handy no more.
The way he used to handle things was " Too bad, Jim, "
That man was so efficient, full of pep and vim.
Although he looks the same, I know it isn't him;
My handy man ain't handy no more.
He's forgotten his domestic science
And he's lost all of his self-reliance.
He won't make a single move unless he's told,
He says he isn't lazy, claims that he ain't old,
But still he sits around and lets my stove get cold;
My handy man ain't handy no more.

REFRAIN 2

Time after time if I'm not right there at his heels
He lets that poor horse in my stable miss his meals.
There's got to be some changes 'cause each day he reveals
My handy man ain't handy no more.
He used to turn in early and get up at dawn,
All full of new ambitions he would trim the lawn.
Now when he isn't sleeping all he does is yawn;
My handy man ain't handy no more.
Once he used to have so much endurance,
Now it looks like he needs life insurance.
I used to brag about my handy man's technique,
But now " The spirit's willing but the flesh is weak. "

CODA

So now I'm gonna get myself a strong young sheik,
And tell him that it's solid action that I seek.
I'm gonna put that cat on notice it's a seven-day week;
My handy man ain't handy no more.