Classic Poem

[ Writ durin' State Fair at Indanoplis, whilse visitin' a Soninlaw then residin' thare, who has sence got back to the country whare he says a man that's raised there ort to a-stayed in the first place .]
I TELL you what I'd ruther do —
Ef I only had my ruthers, —
I'd ruther work when I wanted to
Than be bossed round by others; —
I'd ruther kindo' git the swing
O' what was needed , first, I jing!
Afore I swet at anything! —
Ef I only had my ruthers; —
In fact I'd aim to be the same
With all men as my brothers;
And they'd all be the same with me —
Ef I only had my ruthers.

I wouldn't likely know it all —
Ef I only had my ruthers; —
I'd know some sense, and some baseball —
Some old jokes, and — some others:
I'd know some politics , and 'low
Some tarif-speeches same as now,
Then go hear Nye on " Branes and How
To Detect Theyr Presence. " T'others ,
That stayed away, I'd let 'em stay —
All my dissentin' brothers
Could chuse as shore a kill er cuore,
Ef I only had my ruthers.

The pore 'ud git theyr dues some times —
Ef I only had my ruthers, —
And be paid dollars 'stid o' dimes ,
Fer childern, wives and mothers:
Theyr boy that slaves; theyr girl that sews —
Fer others — not herself, God knows! —
The grave's her only change of clothes!
. . . Ef I only had my ruthers,
They'd all have " stuff " and time enugh
To answer one-another's
Appealin' prayer fer " lovin' care " —
Ef I only had my ruthers.

They'd be few folks 'ud ast fer trust,
Ef I only had my ruthers,
And blame few business men to bu'st
Theyrselves, er harts of others:
Big Guns that come here durin' Fair-
Week could put up jest anywhare,
And find a full-and-plenty thare,
Ef I only had my ruthers:
The rich and great 'ud 'sociate
With all theyr lowly brothers,
Feelin' we done the honorun —
Ef I only had my ruthers.