Classic Poem

A tall, slight, English gentleman,
With an eyeglass to his eye;
He mostly says " Good-Bai " to you,
When he means to say " Good-bye " ;
He shakes hands like a ladies' man,
For all the world to see —
But they know, in Corners of the World,
No ladies' man is he.

A tall, slight English gentleman,
Who hates to soil his hands;
He takes his mother's drawing-room
To the most outlandish lands;
And when, through Hells we dream not of
His battery prevails,
He cleans the grime of gunpowder
And blue blood from his nails.

He's what our blokes in Egypt call
" A decent kinder cove " .
And if the Pyramids should fall?
He'd merely say " Bai Jove! "
And if the stones should block his path
For a twelve-month, or a day,
He'd call on Sergeant Whatsisname
To clear those things away!

A quiet English gentleman,
Who dots the Empire's rim,
Where sweating sons of ebony
Would go to Hell for him.
And if he chances to get " winged " ,
Or smashed up rather worse,
He's quite apologetic to
The doctor and the nurse.

A silent English gentleman —
Though sometimes he says " Haw "
But if a baboon in its cage
Appealed to British Law
And Justice, to be understood,
He'd listen all polite,
And do his very best to set
The monkey grievance right.

A thoroughbred whose ancestry
Goes back to ages dim;
Yet no one on his wide estates
Need fear to speak to him.
Although he never showed a sign
Of aught save sympathy,
He was the only gentleman
That shamed the cad in me.