Classic Poem

I'd like to j'ine the army, an' go 'long with the recruits:
I'd be shore to show off handsome in them regimental boots;
I'd beat 'em all a-shinin'—I'd throw 'em in the shade;
But I'm jest a poor, plain colonel, an' I ain't got no brigade!

I'd like to j'ine the army: I'd be shore to cut a dash,
With spurs to make the mare go, an' a shiny sword an' sash;
I'd make the finest record that a feller ever made;
But I'm jest a poor, plain colonel, an' I ain't got no brigade!

Oh, I'd like to j'ine the army: I'd be shore to make my way,
An' beat the best o' brigadiers a-drawin' of their pay!
But I'm loafin' roun' the homestead—eatin' melons in the shade;
Fer I'm jest a poor, plain colonel, and I ain't got no brigade!