Classic Poem

Cloudy mist every valley and hill buries,
Spurred and booted on sofas we sprawl,
Back the galloways, put up the tilburies,
Sad wet weather at Drizzle-down Hall
One cannot read Waverley twice over cleverly,
Talents should never lie idle a day,
Best of Madrigals, Private Theatricals,
All we want is to settle the play.

Hang a curtain across the back drawing-room,
Black that staring mahogany door,
Make the book-room a carpenter's sawing-room,
Never mind! cut a hole in the floor.
We all shall be fair actors—no need of rare actors,
Settle your characters, bustle away,
Wind and weather-bound, gladly together bound,
All we want is to settle the play.

Colonel Strutt is a famous Octavian,
You, Sir John, shall be Sadi the slave;
Hush! Sir John is a red-hot Moravian,
He'll dumbfound us by humming a stave:
Let Dr. Genitive open in Lenitive,
I'll not disdain it if you'll lead the way;
Bravo, Domine! down with Melpomene—
All we want is to settle the play.

I'm for Percy, and I'm for Northumberland;
I'm for reciting the Jovial Crew;
I've done Sheva, and old Mr. Cumberland
Called it the real original Jew.
Macbeth makes money come—no, we'll be funny—come—
No, Polly Honeycomb—Lady Jane Grey;
While your busy pates ponder, time dissipates—
All we want is to settle the play.

Hold, good people—where are your courtesies?
Mounting Heaven on Icarus' wings;
All are Hamlets, and none are Laerteses—
Pray act something with nothing but kings.
Romeos all in tears, Beverley Volunteers,
Ready to fall in tears, choke up the way;
Generalissimos hunting bravissimos—
Devil a private to act in your play.

Sol re-illuminates, call the postilions,
Off we scamper through Drizzledown Park,
Nags and donkeys, barouches and pillions,
Reach the races before it is dark.
Comical, stoical, tragic, heroical,
All statu quo-ical scamper one way;—
Best of Madrigals, Private Theatricals,
Pity one never can settle the play!