Classic Poem

A COMMON CASE .

Says Richard to Thomas (and seem'd half afraid)
" I'm thinking to marry thy mistress's maid;
Now, because Mrs Lucy to thee is well known,
I will do 't if thou bidst me, or let it alone.

" Nay, don't make a jest on 't; 'tis no jest to me;
For faith I'm in earnest, so prithee, be free.
I have no fault to find with the girl since I knew her.
But I'd have thy advice ere I tie myself to her. "

Said Thomas to Richard, " To speak my opinion,
There is not such a bitch in King George's dominion;
And I firmly believe, if thou knew'st her as I do,
Thou wouldst choose out a whipping-post first to be tied to.

" She's peevish, she 's thievish, she 's ugly, she 's old,
And a liar, and a fool, and a slut, and a scold. "
Next day Richard hasten'd to church and was wed,
And ere night had inform'd her what Thomas had said.