Classic Poem

To the Tune of the Blacksmith

I F none be offended with the scent,
Though I foul my mouth, I'le be content,
To sing of the Rump of a Parliament.
Which no body can deny .

I have sometimes fed on a Rump in Sowse,
And a man may imagine the Rump of a Lowse;
But till now was ne're heard of the Rump of a House.
Which no body can deny .

There's a Rump of Beef, and the Rump of a Goose,
And a Rump whose neck was hang'd in a Noose;
But ours is a Rump can play fast and loose .
Which no body can deny .

A Rump had Jane Shore , and a Rump Messaleen ,
And a Rump had Antonies resolute Queen;
But such a Rump as ours is, never was seen,
Which no body can deny .

Two short years together we English have scarce
Been rid of thy Rampant Nose (Old Mars )
But now thou hast got a prodigious Arse .
Which no body can deny .

When the parts of the Body did all fall out,
Some Votes it is like did pass for the Snout;
But that the Rump should be King was never a doubt.
Which no body can deny .

A Cat has a Rump , and a Cat has nine Lives,
Yet when her Head's off, her Rump never strives;
But our Rump from the Grave hath made two Retrives.
Which no body can deny .

That the Rump may all their Enemies quail,
They'll borrow the Devills Coat of Mayl,
And all to defend their Estate in Tayl.
Which no body can deny .

But though their scale now seems to be th' upper,
There's no need of the charge of a Thanksgiving supper,
For if they be the Rump , the Armi's their Crupper .
Which no body can deny .

There's a Saying belongs to the Rump ,
Which is good although it be worn to the stump ,
That on the Buttocks I'le give thee a Thump.
Which no body can deny .

There's a Proverb in which the Rump claims a part,
Which hath in it more of Sence than of Art,
That for all you can do I care not a Fart.
Which no body can deny .

There's another Proverb gives the Rump for his Crest,
But Alderman Atkins made it a Jest,
That of all kinds of Lucks, shitten Luck is the best.
Which no body can deny .

There's another Proverb that never will fail,
That the good the Rump will do when they prevail
Is to give us a Flop with a Fox-tail.
Which no body can deny .

There is a Saying which is made by no Fools,
I never can hear on't but my heart it cools,
That the Rump will spend all we have in Close-stools,
Which no body can deny .

There's an Observation wise and deep,
Which without an Onion will make me to weep,
That Flyes will blow Maggots in the Rump of a Sheep.
Which no body can deny .

And some that can see the wood from the trees,
Say, this sanctified Rump in time we may leese;
For the Cooks do challenge the Rumps for their Fees.
Which no body can deny .

When the Rump do sit wee'l make it our Moan,
That a Reason be 'enacted if there be not one,
Why a Fart hath a tongue, and a Fyest hath none.
Which no body can deny .

And whilst within the Walls they lurk,
To satisfie us, will be a good work,
Who hath most Religion, the Rump or the Turk
Which no body can deny .

A Rump's a Fag-end, like the baulk of a Furrow ,
And is to the whole like the Jail to the Burrough ,
'Tis the Bran that is left when the Meal is run thorough.
Which no body can deny .

Consider the VVorld the Heav'n is the Head on't,
The Earth is the middle, and we men are fed on't;
But Hell is the Rump , and no more can be sed on't.
Which no body can deny .

Flectere si nequeunt Superos Acharonta movebunt.