Classic Poem

Although some are afraid that to speak of a spade as a spade is a social mistake,
Yet there's none will dispute it was common repute that fair Mantua's Duke was a rake.
To continue the trope, Rigoletto, his fool,
Was a bit of a blade, but was more of a tool.

Rigoletto had hit with the barbs of his wit many prominent persons at court,
Till at last they combined, in their anger, to find a conclusive and fitting retort.
Which they found, as it chanced, in an opportune way
When they learned that he called on a girl every day.

Now the fool was devoted, it's proper to note, to his child, — his one passion in life,
A sweet maiden and fair who'd been left in his care by the early demise of his wife.
And this daughter named Gilda, he loved to a fault.
She'd a range from low G up to E flat in alt.

So one night, as they'd planned, the conspirator band stole the maiden away from her dad.
When she came from the street to the Duke's private suite she remarked, " Well, I guess I'm in bad. "
. . . I need mention no more,
For the Duke was a rake, as I told you before.

It is needless to add that the jester was mad when he heard of the fate of his child,
And he cried " Watch the fool knock the Duke for a gool! " and made other threats equally wild.
" Though I'm odd I'll be even! " he punned through his tears —
Broken hearted he clung to the habit of years.

So in anger he flew to a gunman he knew, an assassin residing quite near,
And agreed on a plan with this murderous man to conclude the Duke's earthly career.
" You'll be paid for your pains, " the fool hastened to say.
" The more pains you inflict, so much greater your pay. "

Now, this man had a sister, a buxom young miss, who when business was active and brisk,
Like a dutiful maid helped him out with the trade, and divided the profits and risk.
And it happened that night — call it luck or a fluke,
That this girl, Madeline, had a date with the Duke.

When she learned that the end of her gentleman friend had been scheduled to take place that night,
She exclaimed with a cry, " Brother, lay off that guy, for I don't think you're treating me right.
Gawd knows I'm no angel but somehow I hate
For to see a lad beaned the one time I've a date. "

Then the murderer said " Well, I'll bump off instead the first stranger that comes to our place. "
Madalena said " Great! Then I won't break my date, " and proceeded to powder her face.
For in spite of her trade she was rather refined,
And extremely well bred for a girl of her kind.

At about ten o'clock came a diffident knock ('twas beginning to thunder and pour),
And there Gilda stood, clad in the garb of a lad, as the murderer came to the door.
So he stabbed her quite neatly three times in the back
And he wrapped up her corpse in an old burlap sack.

Rigoletto with glee paid the brigand his fee, then he dashed through the rain and the wind.
When he opened the sack he was taken aback, and exclaimed " I'm extremely chagrined.
I think that assassin deserves a rebuke
For he murdered my girl when I paid for a Duke. "