Classic Poem

I am so swift to seize affronts,
My spirit is so high,
Whoever has insulted me
Some foreigner must die.

I brought a libel action,
For The Times had called me " thief " ,
Against a paper in Bordeaux,
A paper called Le Juif .

The Nation called me " cannibal "
I could not let it pass —
I got a retraction
From a journal in Alsace.

And when The Morning Post raked up
Some murders I'd devised,
A Polish organ of finance
At once apologised.

I know the charges varied much;
At times, I am afraid
The Frankfurt Frank withdrew a charge
The Outlook had not made.

And what the true injustice
Of the Standard's words had been,
Was not correctly altered
In the Young Turk's Magazine .

I know it sounds confusing —
But as Mr. Lammle said,
The anger of a gentleman
Is boiling in my head.