Classic Poem

FROM THE TEMPLE TO THE BENCH .

The dapper student enter'd fresh from college,
Pertly conceited of his scanty knowledge,
At Commons talks in consequential style,
Mumbling his legal mutton all the while.
At length his terms and dinners paid and ended,
And now and then the court B. R. attended,
Lo! by a conjuration all their own,
The Temple coggers grant the magic gown!
That magic gown that can at once dispense
With learning, manners, education, sense;
That gown, which any blockhead may obtain,
Refus'd to Tooke, and giv'n — — — — in vain,
Now dubb'd a barrister, a fam'd degree!
Licenced on either side to take a fee,
His pride affects the attorneys to despise;
His int'rest courts them as the means to rise;
They, in their turn, a dirty shuffling race,
The legal scavengers! and law's disgrace!
Neglect his overtures — 'till gossip fame,
Or chance, or puff, has magnified his name;
Then when he wants no more their base support,
They praise his talents, and his favour court;
Meanly pay homage to his silken gown,
While with contempThe kicks the ladder down.
Of all his brother pleaders jealous grown,
He sinks their character to raise his own;
No patriot fires his torpid bosom warm,
Though selfish motives make him love the storm;
That storm in politics which often shews,
The people blindly partial to their foes!
It is not tyranny provokes his hate,
But envy to behold an other great.
Now wealth accumulates with ev'ry day,
And discord keeps loquacity in pay;
Practiced to puzzle, skilful to mislead,
And prone the cause of infamy to plead,
His venal tongue contending factions hire,
While four-hour speeches judge and juries tire;
'Till facts obscur'd and truth in mazes lost,
Justice submits, and virtue pays the cost!
New legal honours thick'ning on his head,
His gloomy black is chang'd to ermin'd red.
The learned judge must now in peace submit
To Er — — 's modesty, and B — dw — n's wit!
To Min — 's eloquence, which never falters,
And all the wrangling tribe of legal talkers!
Think not the judge's lot is too severe,
Though hard, 'tis worth some thousand pounds a year;
And gold, great despot of the human mind!
Makes judges patient, and makes bailiffs kind;
Gives strength to argument, keen edge to wit,
And renders venal — — attach'd to Pitt.