Classic Poem

Mercurius . Since Esculapius
That Urinal, restored god Plutus eyes,
Men have almost forgot to sacrifice:
But they were wont to offer Hasty-puddings,
Spice-cakes and many dainties; nay I know
Some that have spent whole Hecatombs of Beef
To give the gods their gawdies: now they'd be glad
To eat the very brewesse of the pottage;
A rump or flap of mutton were a fee
For Joves own breakfast; for a rib of beef,
Though it smelt of every Gippo 's scabby fingers,
May any Scullion be chief Cook of heaven.
Men have I say forgot to sacrifice.
CARION . And shall: Beggerly Jove does not deserve it.
He never did us good: we are not beholding
To any of your louzy gods. Old Plutus ,
Plutus has purchased our devotion,
Gold is the Saint we reverence.
MERC . Nay faith I care not for the other gods,
Let them go stink and starve;
...
For them I care not, but these guts of mine:
Is it not pitty Mercury should pine?
CAR . Nay now I see thou hast some wit in thy Pericranium.
MERC . Whilome the Ale-wives and the fat-bum'd Hostesses
Would give me jugs of Ale without Excise,
Fill'd to the brim, no nick nor froth upon them:
Besides they'd make me Froizes and Flapjacks too,
Feed me with Puddings, give me broken-meat
And many dainty morsels for to eat.
O shall I never more begrease my chops
With glorious bits of Bacon! shall Mercurius
Stretch forth his legs for want of Buttermilk!