Classic Poem

There's a liddle fact in hishdory vitch few hafe oondershtand,
Dat de Deutschers are, de jure , de owners of dis land,
Und I brides mineself oonshpeak-barly dat I foorst make be-known,
De primordial cause dat Columbus vas derivet from Cologne.

For ash his name vas Colon, it fisiply does shine,
Dat his Eldern are geboren been in Co-logne on der Rhein,
Und Colonia peing a colony, it sehr bemerkbar ist,
Dat Columbus in America was der firster colonist.

Und ash Columbus ish a tofe, id ish wort de drople to mark,
Dat an bidgeon foorst tiscofer land a-vlyin' from de ark;
Und shtill wider — in de peginnin', mitout de leastest toubt,
A tofe vas vly ofer de wassers und pring de vorldt herout.

Ash mein goot oldt teacher Der Kreutzer to me tid ofden shbeak,
De mythus of name rebeats itself — vitch see in his " Symbolik, "
So also de name America, if we a liddle look,
Vas coom from der oldt king Emerich in de Deutsche Heldenbuch.

Und id vas from dat fery Heldenbuch — how voonderful it ron,
Dat I shdole de Song of Hildebrand, or der Vater und der Sohn,
Und dishtripude it to Breitemann for a reason vitch now ish plain,
Dat dis Sagen Cyclus full-endet, pring me round to der Hans again.

Dese laws of un-endly un-winding ish so teep and broad and tall,
Dat nopody boot a Deutscher hafe a het to versteh dem at all,
Und should I write mine dinks all out, I tont peliefe inteed,
Dat I mineself vould versteh de half of dis here Breitmann's Lied.

Ash der Hegel say of his system — dat only von man's knew,
Vot der tyfel id meant — und he couldn't tell — und der Jean Paul Richter, too,
Who saidt: " Gott knows I meant somedings vhen foorst dis buch I writ,
Boot Gott only wise vot das buch means now — for I hafe forgotten it! "

Und all of dis be-wises so blain ash de face on your nose,
Dat der Deutscher hafe efen more intellects dan he himself soopose,
Und his tifference mit de over-again vorldt, as I really do soospect,
Ish dat oder volk hafe more soopose — und lesser intellect.

Yet oop-righty I confess it — mitout ashkin' vhy or vhence,
Dere ish also dimes vhen Amerigans hafe shown sharp-pointet sense,
Und a fery outsigned exemple of genius in dis line,
Vas dishblayed in dis elegdion py Mishder Hiram Twine.