Classic Poem

VERSE

Oh, what a bevy of beauties,
Oh, what a school of fish,
Oh, what a covey of cuties,
Oh, what a dish delish!
I've known but litters of minxes,
All of 'em fun for a while,
Yet now, for the nonce, what methinks is,
You've got 'em
Beat a mile.

REFRAIN 1

They couldn't compare to you,
They couldn't compare to you,
Although I've played
Many, many a maid,
They couldn't compare to you.
I've thoroughly pitched the woo
From the heights of Valhalla to Kalamazoo,
And though they all
Had a lot on the ball,
They couldn't compare to you.
Of ladies fair
I've loved more than my share,
And strange but true,
I hereby declare,
From tiptoe to hair,
They could not compare
To you.

PATTER

After playing the local sirens
Who resided in my environs,
I decided to learn the art of Cupid's trickery,
So, at once, I started cruising,
Found the Muses so amusing
That I even got a kick outa Terpsichore.
After her, I met Calypso,
Who was definitely a dipso,
Then I fled to Big Brünnhilde, she was German.
After snitching Eve from Adam,
I attended Call Me Madam
And shortly began to nestle Essel Merman.
I admired the silken body
Of the chic Scheherazade,
Then of Lady Godiva I became the lord.
After that I staged an orgy
For some friends o' Lucretia Borgie,
And ended up at the Stork with Fanny Ward.
After having had a party
With Phoenicia's goddess Astarte,
Well, I raised a bit of hell with Penelope.
After quieting all my urgin's
For several Vestal Virgins,
I put on a strip for Gypsy Rose Lee.
Though I liked the Queen of Sheba,
She was mentally an amoeba.
As for Beatrice d'Este,
She was a pest and far too chesty.
As for the passionate wife of Nero,
My reaction was frankly zero.
As for that sorceress known as Circe,
She was so hot I hollered for mercy!
There was Galatea,
And mean Medea,
And Sappho, one of the best.
There was Nefertiti,
A perfect sweetie,
And gay Mae West.
I was a helluva fella
With Cinderella
And Isabella of Spain.
And I used to caress
Both Lola Montez
And that damn Calamity Jane.
When betwixt Nell Gwyn
And Anne Boleyn
I was forced to make my choice,
I became so confused
I was even amused
And abused by Peggy Joyce.
There was Melisande,
A platinum blonde
(How I loved to ruffle her locks).
There was bright Aurora,
Then Pandora,
Who let me open her box!

REFRAIN 2

They couldn't compare to you,
They couldn't compare to you,
Although I've played
Many, many a maid
They couldn't compare to you.
I've thoroughly pitched the woo
From Galli-pippo-lippy to Tippecanoe.
And though they all
Had a lot on the ball,
They couldn't compare to you.
Of ladies fair,
I've loved more than my share,
And strange but true,
I hereby declare,
From tiptoe to hair,
From hep cat to square,
From dressed-up to bare,
They could not compare
To you.