Volpone - Act 4
SCENE 1
SIR POLITIC I told you, sir, it was a plot; you see
What observation is! You mentioned me
For some instructions: I will tell you, sir
(Since we are met here in this height of Venice),
Some few particulars I have set down
Only for this meridian, fit to be known
Of your crude traveler; and they are these
I will not touch, sir, at your phrase, or clothes,
For they are old
PEREGRINE Sir, I have better
SIR POLITIC Pardon,
I meant, as they are themes
PEREGRINE O, sir, proceed:
I'll slander you no more of wit, good sir
SIR POLITIC First, for your garb, it must be grave and serious,
Very reserved and locked; not tell a secret
On any terms, not to your father; scarce
A fable but with caution; make sure choice
Both of your company and discourse; beware
You never speak a truth —
PEREGRINE How!
SIR POLITIC Not to strangers,
For those be they you must converse with most;
Others I would not know, sir, but at distance,
So as I still might be a saver in them:
You shall have tricks, else, passed upon you hourly
And then, for your religion, profess none,
But wonder at the diversity of all;
And, for your part, protest, were there no other
But simply the laws o' th'land, you could content you
Nick Machiavel and Monsieur Bodin both
Were of this mind. Then must you learn the use
And handling of your silver fork at meals,
The metal of your glass (these are main matters
With your Italian), and to know the hour
When you must eat your melons and your figs
PEREGRINE Is that a point of state too?
SIR POLITIC Here it is:
For your Venetian, if he see a man
Preposterous in the least, he has him straight;
He has: he strips him. I'll acquaint you, sir
I now have lived here, 'tis some fourteen months;
Within the first week of my landing here,
All took me for a citizen of Venice,
I knew the forms so well —
PEREGRINE And nothing else.
SIR POLITIC I had read Contarine, took me a house,
Dealt with my Jews to furnish it with movables —
Well, if I could but find one man, one man
To mine own heart, whom I durst trust, I would —
PEREGRINE What, what, sir?
SIR POLITIC Make him rich; make him a fortune;
He should not think again. I would command it.
PEREGRINE As how?
SIR POLITIC With certain projects that I have
Which I may not discover
PEREGRINE If I had
But one to wager with, I would lay odds now,
He tells me instantly
SIR POLITIC One is (and that
I care not greatly who knows) to serve the state
Of Venice with red herrings for three years,
And at a certain rate, from Rotterdam,
Where I have correspondence. There's a letter,
Sent me from one o' the States, and to that purpose;
He cannot write his name, but that's his mark
PEREGRINE He is a chandler?
SIR POLITIC No, a cheesemonger
There are some other too with whom I treat
About the same negotiation;
And I will undertake it: for, 'tis thus,
I'll do't with ease, I've cast it all Your hoy
Carries but three men in her, and a boy;
And she shall make me three returns a year
So, if there come but one of three, I save;
If two, I can defalk: but this is now
If my main project fail
PEREGRINE Then you have others?
SIR POLITIC I should be loath to draw the subtle air
Of such a place without my thousand aims
I'll not dissemble, sir; where'er I come,
I love to be considerative; and 'tis true
I have at my free hours thought upon
Some certain goods unto the state of Venice,
Which I do call my Cautions ; and, sir, which
I mean, in hope of pension, to propound
To the Great Council, then unto the Forty,
So to the Ten. My means are made already —
PEREGRINE By whom?
SIR POLITIC Sir, one that, though his place be obscure,
Yet he can sway, and they will hear him. He's
A commendatore
PEREGRINE What! a common sergeant?
SIR POLITIC Sir, such as they are put it in their mouths
What they should say, sometimes, as well as greater.
I think I have my notes to show you —
PEREGRINE Good, sir.
SIR POLITIC But you shall swear unto me, on your gentry,
Not to anticipate —
PEREGRINE I, sir!
SIR POLITIC Nor reveal
A circumstance — My paper is not with me
PEREGRINE O, but you can remember, sir.
SIR POLITIC My first is
Concerning tinderboxes. You must know
No family is here without its box
Now, sir, it being so portable a thing,
Put case that you or I were ill affected
Unto the state; sir, with it in our pockets,
Might not I go into the Arsenal,
Or you? come out again? and none the wiser?
PEREGRINE Except yourself, sir
SIR POLITIC Go to, then. I therefore
Advertise to the state, how fit it were
That none but such as were known patriots,
Sound lovers of their country, should be suffered
To enjoy them in their houses; and even those
Sealed at some office, and at such a bigness
As might not lurk in pockets.
PEREGRINE Admirable!
SIR POLITIC My next is, how to inquire, and be resolved
By present demonstration, whether a ship
Newly arrived from Syria, or from
Any suspected part of all the Levant,
Be guilty of the plague; and where they use
To lie out forty, fifty days, sometimes,
About the Lazaretto, for their trial,
I'll save that charge and loss unto the merchant,
And in an hour clear the doubt
PEREGRINE Indeed, sir!
SIR POLITIC Or — I will lose my labor
PEREGRINE My faith, that's much
SIR POLITIC Nay, sir, conceive me. 'Twill cost me in onions,
Some thirty livres —
PEREGRINE Which is one pound sterling
SIR POLITIC Besides my waterworks; for this I do, sir:
First, I bring in your ship 'twixt two brick walls;
But those the state shall venture. On the one
I strain me a fair tarpaulin, and in that
I stick my onions, cut in halves; the other
Is full of loopholes, out at which I thrust
The noses of my bellows; and those bellows
I keep, with waterworks, in perpetual motion,
Which is the easiest matter of a hundred.
Now, sir, your onion, which doth naturally
Attract the infection, and your bellows blowing
The air upon him, will show instantly,
By his changed color, if there be contagion,
Or else remain as fair as at the first.
— Now 'tis known, 'tis nothing
PEREGRINE You are right, sir
SIR POLITIC I would I had my note
PEREGRINE Faith, so would I:
But you have done well for once, sir
SIR POLITIC Were I false,
Or would be made so, I could show you reasons
How I could sell this state now to the Turk,
Spite of their galleys, or their —
PEREGRINE Pray you, Sir Pol
SIR POLITIC I have them not about me.
PEREGRINE That I feared
They are there, sir?
SIR POLITIC No, this is my diary,
Wherein I note my actions of the day
PEREGRINE Pray you let's see, sir What is here? Notandum,
A rat had gnawn my spur-leathers; notwithstanding,
I put on new and did go forth; but first
I threw three beans over the threshold Item,
I went, and bought two toothpicks, whereof one
I burst immediately in a discourse
With a Dutch merchant bout ragion del stato
From him I went and paid a moccenigo
For piecing my silk stockings; by the way
I cheapened sprats; and at St. Mark's I urined
Faith, these are politic notes!
SIR POLITIC Sir, I do slip
No action of my life, thus, but I quote it.
PEREGRINE Believe me, it is wise!
SIR POLITIC Nay, sir, read forth.
SCENE 2
LADY POLITIC Where should this loose knight be, trow? Sure, he's housed
NANO Why, then he's fast.
LADY POLITIC Ay, he plays both with me.
I pray you stay. This heat will do more harm
To my complexion than his heart is worth
(I do not care to hinder, but to take him)
How it comes off!
1 WOMAN My master's yonder
LADY POLITIC Where?
2 WOMAN With a young gentleman
LADY POLITIC That same's the party,
In man's apparel! Pray you, sir, jog my knight;
I will be tender to his reputation,
However he demerit.
SIR POLITIC My lady!
PEREGRINE Where?
SIR POLITIC 'Tis she indeed, sir; you shall know her. She is,
Were she not mine, a lady of that merit,
For fashion and behavior; and for beauty
I durst compare —
PEREGRINE It seems you are not jealous,
That dare commend her
SIR POLITIC Nay, and for discourse —
PEREGRINE Being your wife, she cannot miss that.
SIR POLITIC Madam,
Here is a gentleman; pray you, use him fairly;
He seems a youth, but he is —
LADY POLITIC None.
SIR POLITIC Yes, one
Has put his face as soon into the world —
LADY POLITIC You mean, as early? but today?
SIR POLITIC How's this?
LADY POLITIC Why, in this habit, sir; you apprehend me.
Well, Master Would-be, this doth not become you;
I had thought the odor, sir, of your good name
Had been more precious to you; that you would not
Have done this dire massacre on your honor;
One of your gravity, and rank besides!
But knights, I see, care little for the oath
They make to ladies, chiefly, their own ladies.
SIR POLITIC Now, by my spurs, the symbol of my knighthood —
PEREGRINE Lord, how his brain is humbled for an oath!
SIR POLITIC I reach you not.
LADY POLITIC Right, sir, your polity
May bear it through thus. — Sir, a word with you.
I would be loath to contest publicly
With any gentlewoman, or to seem
Froward, or violent: as The Courtier says,
It comes too near rusticity in a lady,
Which I would shun by all means; and however
I may deserve from Master Would be, yet
T' have one fair gentlewoman thus be made
The unkind instrument to wrong another,
And one she knows not, ay; and to persever;
In my poor judgment, is not warranted
From being a solecism in our sex,
If not in manners
PEREGRINE How is this!
SIR POLITIC Sweet madam,
Come nearer to your aim.
LADY POLITIC Marry, and will, sir
Since you provoke me with your impudence,
And laughter of your light land-siren here,
Your Sporus, your hermaphrodite —
PEREGRINE What's here?
Poetic fury and historic storms!
SIR POLITIC The gentleman, believe it, is of worth,
And of our nation
LADY POLITIC Ay, your Whitefriars nation!
Come, I blush for you, Master Would-be, ay;
And am ashamed you should have no more forehead
Than thus to be the patron or St. George
To a lewd harlot, a base fricatrice,
A female devil in a male outside
SIR POLITIC Nay,
An you be such a one, I must bid adieu
To your delights. The case appears too liquid
LADY POLITIC Ay, you may carry 't clear, with your state-face!
But for your carnival concupiscence,
Who here is fled for liberty of conscience
From furious persecution of the marshal,
Her will I dis'ple.
PEREGRINE This is fine, i' faith,
And do you use this often? Is this part
Of your wit's exercise, 'gainst you have occasion?
Madam —
LADY POLITIC Go to, sir
PEREGRINE Do you hear me, lady?
Why, if your knight have set you to beg shirts,
Or to invite me home, you might have done it
A nearer way, by far.
LADY POLITIC This cannot work you
Out of my snare
PEREGRINE Why, am I in it, then?
Indeed your husband told me you were fair,
And so you are; only your nose inclines,
That side that's next the sun, to the queen-apple
LADY POLITIC This cannot be endured by any patience.
SCENE 3
MOSCA What's the matter, madam?
LADY POLITIC If the Senate
Right not my quest in this, I will protest them
To all the world no aristocracy.
MOSCA What is the injury, lady?
LADY POLITIC Why, the callet
You told me of, here I have ta'en disguised.
MOSCA Who? this! What means your ladyship? The creature
I mentioned to you is apprehended now
Before the Senate; you shall see her —
LADY POLITIC Where?
MOSCA I'll bring you to her. This young gentleman,
I saw him land this morning at the port.
LADY POLITIC Is't possible! How has my judgment wandered?
Sir, I must, blushing, say to you, I have erred,
And plead your pardon
PEREGRINE What, more changes yet!
LADY POLITIC I hope you've not the malice to remember
A gentlewoman's passion. If you stay
In Venice here, please you to use me, sir —
MOSCA Will you go, madam?
LADY POLITIC Pray you, sir, use me; in faith,
The more you see me, the more I shall conceive
You have forgot our quarrel.
PEREGRINE This is rare!
Sir Politic Would-be? No, Sir Politic Bawd!
To bring me thus acquainted with his wife!
Well, wise Sir Pol, since you have practiced thus
Upon my freshman-ship, I'll try your salt-head,
What proof it is against a counterplot.
SCENE 4 The Scrutineo
VOLTORE Well, now you know the carriage of the business,
Your constancy is all that is required
Unto the safety of it.
MOSCA Is the lie
Safely conveyed amongst us? Is that sure?
Knows every man his burden?
CORVINO Yes.
MOSCA Then shrink not.
CORVINO But knows the advocate the truth?
MOSCA O, sir,
By no means; I devised a formal tale
That salved your reputation But be valiant, sir
CORVINO I fear no one but him, that this his pleading
Should make him stand for a co-heir —
MOSCA Co-halter!
Hang him; we will but use his tongue, his noise,
As we do Croaker's here
CORVINO Ay, what shall he do?
MOSCA When we have done, you mean?
CORVINO Yes
MOSCA Why, we'll think:
Sell him for mummia; he's half dust already
Do you not smile to see this buffalo,
How he doth sport it with his head? — I should,
If all were well and past Sir, only you
Are he that shall enjoy the crop of all,
And these know not for whom they toil
CORBACCIO Ay, peace
MOSCA But you shall eat it Much! Worshipful sir.
Mercury sit upon your thundering tongue,
Or the French Hercules, and make your language
As conquering as his club, to beat along,
As with a tempest, flat, our adversaries;
But much more yours, sir
VOLTORE Here they come, have done
MOSCA I have another witness, if you need, sir,
I can produce.
VOLTORE Who is it?
MOSCA Sir, I have her.
SCENE 5
1 AVOCATORE The like of this the Senate never heard of.
2 AVOCATORE 'Twill come most strange to them when we report it
4 AVOCATORE The gentlewoman has been ever held
Of unreproved name
3 AVOCATORE So the young man,
4 AVOCATORE The more unnatural part that of his father
2 AVOCATORE More of the husband.
1 AVOCATORE I not know to give
His act a name, it is so monstrous!
4 AVOCATORE But the impostor, he's a thing created
To exceed example!
1 AVOCATORE And all aftertimes!
2 AVOCATORE I never heard a true voluptuary
Described, but him.
3 AVOCATORE Appear yet those were cited?
NOTARIO All but the old magnifico, Volpone.
1 AVOCATORE Why is not he here?
MOSCA Please your fatherhoods,
Here is his advocate: himself's so weak,
So feeble —
4 AVOCATORE What are you?
BONARIO His parasite,
His knave, his pander: I beseech the court
He may be forced to come, that your grave eyes
May bear strong witness of his strange impostures
VOLTORE Upon my faith and credit with your virtues,
He is not able to endure the air.
2 AVOCATORE Bring him, however.
3 AVOCATORE We will see him
4 AVOCATORE Fetch him
VOLTORE Your fatherhoods' fit pleasures be obeyed;
But sure, the sight will rather move your pities
Than indignation. May it please the court,
In the meantime, he may be heard in me.
I know this place most void of prejudice,
And therefore crave it, since we have no reason
To fear our truth should hurt our cause
3 AVOCATORE Speak free
VOLTORE Then know, most honored fathers, I must now
Discover to your strangely abused ears,
The most prodigious and most frontless piece
Of solid impudence and treachery
That ever vicious nature yet brought forth
To shame the state of Venice This lewd woman,
That wants no artificial looks or tears
To help the visor she has now put on,
Hath long been known a close adulteress
To that lascivious youth there; not suspected,
I say, but known, and taken in the act
With him; and by this man, the easy husband,
Pardoned; whose timeless bounty makes him now
Stand here, the most unhappy, innocent person
That ever man's own goodness made accused
For these, not knowing how to owe a gift.
Of that dear grace but with their shame, being placed
So above all powers of their gratitude,
Began to hate the benefit; and, in place.
Of thanks, devise to extirp the memory
Of such an act Wherein, I pray your fatherhoods
To observe the malice, yea, the rage of creatures
Discovered in their evils; and what heart
Such take, even from their crimes. But that anon
Will more appear This gentleman, the father,
Hearing of this foul fact, with many others
Which daily struck at his too tender ears,
And grieved in nothing more than that he could not
Preserve himself a parent (his son's ills
Growing to that strange flood), at last decreed
To disinherit him
1 AVOCATORE These be strange turns!
2 AVOCATORE The young man's fame was ever fair and honest
VOLTORE So much more full of danger is his vice,
That can beguile so under shade of virtue
But, as I said, my honored sires, his father
Having this settled purpose, by what means
To him betrayed, we know not, and this day
I cannot style him better — by confederacy.
Preparing this his paramour to be there,
Entered Volpone's house (who was the man,
Your fatherhoods must understand, designed
For the inheritance), there sought his father;
But with what purpose sought he him, my lords?
I tremble to pronounce it, that a son
Unto a father, and to such a father,
Should have so foul, felonious intent:
It was to murder him! When, being prevented
By his more happy absence, what then did he?
Not check his wicked thoughts; no, now new deeds
(Mischief doth ever end where it begins);
An act of horror, fathers! He dragged forth
The aged gentleman that had there lain bed rid
Three years and more, out of his innocent couch,
Naked upon the floor, there left him; wounded
His servant in the face; and, with this strumpet,
The stale to his forged practice, who was glad
To be so active (I shall here desire
Your fatherhoods to note but my collections,
As most remarkable), thought at once to stop
His father's ends, discredit his free choice
In the old gentleman, redeem themselves,
By laying infamy upon this man,
To whom, with blushing, they should owe their lives.
1 AVOCATORE What proofs have you of this?
BONARIO Most honored fathers,
I humbly crave there be no credit given
To this man's mercenary tongue.
2 AVOCATORE Forbear.
BONARIO His soul moves in his fee
3 AVOCATORE O, sir!
BONARIO This fellow,
For six sols more, would plead against his Maker
1 AVOCATORE You do forget yourself
VOLTORE Nay, nay, grave fathers,
Let him have scope; can any man imagine
That he will spare his accuser, that would not
Have spared his parent?
1 AVOCATORE Well, produce your proofs
CELIA I would I could forget I were a creature
VOLTORE Signor Corbaccio!
4 AVOCATORE What is he?
VOLTORE The father
2 AVOCATORE Has he had an oath?
NOTARIO Yes
CORBACCIO What must I do now?
NOTARIO Your testimony's craved
CORBACCIO Speak to the knave?
I'll have my mouth first stopped with earth; my heart
Abhors his knowledge: I disclaim in him
1 AVOCATORE But for what cause?
CORBACCIO The mere portent of nature!
He is an utter stranger to my loins
BONARIO Have they made you to this?
CORBACCIO I will not hear thee,
Monster of men, swine, goat, wolf, parricide!
Speak not, thou viper
BONARIO Sir, I will sit down,
And rather wish my innocence should suffer,
Than I resist the authority of a father
VOLTORE Signor Corvino!
2 AVOCATORE This is strange
1 AVOCATORE Who's this?
NOTARIO The husband
4 AVOCATORE Is he sworn?
NOTARIO He is
3 AVOCATORE Speak, then
CORVINO This woman, please your fatherhoods, is a whore
Of most hot exercise, more than a partridge,
Upon record —
1 AVOCATORE No more
CORVINO Neighs like a jennet
NOTARIO Preserve the honor of the court
CORVINO I shall,
And modesty of your most reverend ears
And yet I hope that I may say these eyes
Have seen her glued unto that piece of cedar
That fine well-timbered gallant; and that here
The letters may be read, through the horn,
That make the story perfect
MOSCA Excellent, sir!
CORVINO There is no shame in this now, is there?
MOSCA None
CORVINO Or if I said, I hoped that she were onward
To her damnation, if there be a hell
Greater than whore and woman; a good Catholic
May make the doubt
3 AVOCATORE His grief hath made him frantic.
1 AVOCATORE Remove him hence
2 AVOCATORE Look to the woman
CORVINO Rare!
Prettily feigned, again!
4 AVOCATORE Stand from about her.
1 AVOCATORE Give her the air
3 AVOCATORE What can you say?
MOSCA My wound,
May it please your wisdoms, speaks for me, received
In aid of my good patron, when he missed
His sought-for father, when that well-taught dame
Had her cue given her to cry out, A rape!
BONARIO O most laid impudence! Fathers —
3 AVOCATORE Sir, be silent;
You had your hearing free, so must they theirs.
2 AVOCATORE I do begin to doubt th' imposture here
4 AVOCATORE This woman has too many moods
VOLTORE Grave fathers,
She is a creature of a most professed
And prostituted lewdness
CORVINO Most impetuous,
Unsatisfied, grave fathers!
VOLTORE May her feignings
Not take your wisdoms: but this day she baited
A stranger, a grave knight, with her loose eyes
And more lascivious kisses. This man saw them
Together on the water, in a gondola.
MOSCA Here is the lady herself, that saw them too,
Without; who then had in the open streets
Pursued them, but for saving her knight's honor.
1 AVOCATORE Produce that lady
2 AVOCATORE Let her come
4 AVOCATORE These things,
They strike with wonder
3 AVOCATORE I am turned a stone
SCENE 6
MOSCA Be resolute, madam
LADY POLITIC Ay, this same is she
Out, thou chameleon harlot! Now thine eyes
Vie tears with the hyena Dar'st thou look
Upon my wronged face? — I cry your pardons,
I fear I have forgettingly transgressed
Against the dignity of the court —
2 AVOCATORE No, madam
LADY POLITIC And been exorbitant —
2 AVOCATORE You have not, lady
4 AVOCATORE These proofs are strong.
LADY POLITIC Surely, I had no purpose
To scandalize your honors, or my sex's
3 AVOCATORE We do believe it
LADY POLITIC Surely, you may believe it
2 AVOCATORE Madam, we do
LADY POLITIC Indeed you may; my breeding
Is not so coarse —
4 AVOCATORE We know it
LADY POLITIC To offend
With pertinacy —
3 AVOCATORE Lady —
LADY POLITIC Such a presence!
No, surely
1 AVOCATORE We well think it
LADY POLITIC You may think it
1 AVOCATORE Let her o'ercome. What witnesses have you,
To make good your report?
BONARIO Our consciences
CELIA And heaven, that never fails the innocent
4 AVOCATORE These are no testimonies
BONARIO Not in your courts,
Where multitude, and clamor overcomes
1 AVOCATORE Nay, then you do wax insolent.
VOLTORE Here, here,
The testimony comes that will convince,
And put to utter dumbness their bold tongues!
See here, grave fathers, here's the ravisher,
The rider on men's wives, the great impostor,
The grand voluptuary! Do you not think
These limbs should affect venery? or these eyes
Covet a concubine? Pray you mark these hands;
Are they not fit to stroke a lady's breasts?
Perhaps he doth dissemble!
BONARIO So he does.
VOLTORE Would you have him tortured?
BONARIO I would have him proved
VOLTORE Best try him then with goads, or burning irons;
Put him to the strappado. I have heard
The rack hath cured the gout; 'faith, give it him,
And help him of a malady; be courteous
I'll undertake, before these honored fathers,
He shall have yet as many left diseases
As she has known adulterers, or thou strumpets
O, my most equal hearers, if these deeds,
Acts of this bold and most exorbitant strain,
May pass with sufferance, what one citizen
But owes the forfeit of his life, yea, fame,
To him that dares traduce him? Which of you
Are safe, my honored fathers? I would ask,
With leave of your grave fatherhoods, if their plot
Have any face or color like to truth?
Or if, unto the dullest nostril here,
It smell not rank and most abhorred slander?
I crave your care of this good gentleman,
Whose life is much endangered by their fable;
And as for them, I will conclude with this,
That vicious persons, when they're hot, and fleshed
In impious acts, their constancy abounds:
Damned deeds are done with greatest confidence
1 AVOCATORE Take them to custody, and sever them
2 AVOCATORE 'Tis pity two such prodigies should live
1 AVOCATORE Let the old gentleman be returned with care:
I'm sorry our credulity hath wronged him
4 AVOCATORE These are two creatures!
3 AVOCATORE I have an earthquake in me
2 AVOCATORE Their shame, even in their cradles, fled their faces.
4 AVOCATORE You have done a worthy service to the state, sir,
In their discovery.
1 AVOCATORE You shall hear, ere night,
What punishment the court decrees upon them
VOLTORE We thank your fatherhoods. — How like you it?
MOSCA Rare
I'd have your tongue, sir, tipped with gold for this;
I'd have you be the heir to the whole city;
The earth I'd have want men, ere you want living:
They're bound to erect your statue in St. Mark's
Signor Corvino, I would have you go
And show yourself, that you have conquered
CORVINO Yes.
MOSCA It was much better that you should profess
Yourself a cuckold thus, than that the other
Should have been proved.
CORVINO Nay, I considered that;
Now it is her fault.
MOSCA Then it had been yours.
CORVINO True; I do doubt this advocate still
MOSCA I' faith,
You need not; I dare ease you of that care
CORVINO I trust thee, Mosca
MOSCA As your own soul, sir
CORBACCIO Mosca!
MOSCA Now for your business, sir
CORBACCIO How! have you business?
MOSCA Yes, yours, sir
CORBACCIO O, none else?
MOSCA None else, not I
CORBACCIO Be careful then
MOSCA Rest you with both your eyes, sir
CORBACCIO Dispatch it.
MOSCA Instantly
CORBACCIO And look that all,
Whatever, be put in, jewels, plate, moneys,
Household stuff, bedding, curtains
MOSCA Curtain-rings, sir:
Only the advocate's fee must be deducted
CORBACCIO I'll pay him now; you'll be too prodigal
MOSCA Sir, I must tender it.
CORBACCIO Two sequins is well?
MOSCA No, six, sir
CORBACCIO 'Tis too much
MOSCA He talked a great while;
You must consider that, sir
CORBACCIO Well, there's three —
MOSCA I'll give it him
CORBACCIO Do so, and there's for thee
MOSCA Bountiful bones! What horrid strange offense
Did he commit 'gainst nature, in his youth,
Worthy this age? — You see, sir, how I work
Unto your ends; take you no notice.
VOLTORE No,
I'll leave you
MOSCA All is yours — the devil and all,
Good advocate! — Madam, I'll bring you home.
LADY POLITIC No, I'll go see your patron
MOSCA That you shall not
I'll tell you why My purpose is to urge
My patron to reform his will; and for
The zeal you have shown today, whereas before
You were but third or fourth, you shall be now
Put in the first; which would appear as begged,
If you were present Therefore —
LADY POLITIC You shall sway me.
SIR POLITIC I told you, sir, it was a plot; you see
What observation is! You mentioned me
For some instructions: I will tell you, sir
(Since we are met here in this height of Venice),
Some few particulars I have set down
Only for this meridian, fit to be known
Of your crude traveler; and they are these
I will not touch, sir, at your phrase, or clothes,
For they are old
PEREGRINE Sir, I have better
SIR POLITIC Pardon,
I meant, as they are themes
PEREGRINE O, sir, proceed:
I'll slander you no more of wit, good sir
SIR POLITIC First, for your garb, it must be grave and serious,
Very reserved and locked; not tell a secret
On any terms, not to your father; scarce
A fable but with caution; make sure choice
Both of your company and discourse; beware
You never speak a truth —
PEREGRINE How!
SIR POLITIC Not to strangers,
For those be they you must converse with most;
Others I would not know, sir, but at distance,
So as I still might be a saver in them:
You shall have tricks, else, passed upon you hourly
And then, for your religion, profess none,
But wonder at the diversity of all;
And, for your part, protest, were there no other
But simply the laws o' th'land, you could content you
Nick Machiavel and Monsieur Bodin both
Were of this mind. Then must you learn the use
And handling of your silver fork at meals,
The metal of your glass (these are main matters
With your Italian), and to know the hour
When you must eat your melons and your figs
PEREGRINE Is that a point of state too?
SIR POLITIC Here it is:
For your Venetian, if he see a man
Preposterous in the least, he has him straight;
He has: he strips him. I'll acquaint you, sir
I now have lived here, 'tis some fourteen months;
Within the first week of my landing here,
All took me for a citizen of Venice,
I knew the forms so well —
PEREGRINE And nothing else.
SIR POLITIC I had read Contarine, took me a house,
Dealt with my Jews to furnish it with movables —
Well, if I could but find one man, one man
To mine own heart, whom I durst trust, I would —
PEREGRINE What, what, sir?
SIR POLITIC Make him rich; make him a fortune;
He should not think again. I would command it.
PEREGRINE As how?
SIR POLITIC With certain projects that I have
Which I may not discover
PEREGRINE If I had
But one to wager with, I would lay odds now,
He tells me instantly
SIR POLITIC One is (and that
I care not greatly who knows) to serve the state
Of Venice with red herrings for three years,
And at a certain rate, from Rotterdam,
Where I have correspondence. There's a letter,
Sent me from one o' the States, and to that purpose;
He cannot write his name, but that's his mark
PEREGRINE He is a chandler?
SIR POLITIC No, a cheesemonger
There are some other too with whom I treat
About the same negotiation;
And I will undertake it: for, 'tis thus,
I'll do't with ease, I've cast it all Your hoy
Carries but three men in her, and a boy;
And she shall make me three returns a year
So, if there come but one of three, I save;
If two, I can defalk: but this is now
If my main project fail
PEREGRINE Then you have others?
SIR POLITIC I should be loath to draw the subtle air
Of such a place without my thousand aims
I'll not dissemble, sir; where'er I come,
I love to be considerative; and 'tis true
I have at my free hours thought upon
Some certain goods unto the state of Venice,
Which I do call my Cautions ; and, sir, which
I mean, in hope of pension, to propound
To the Great Council, then unto the Forty,
So to the Ten. My means are made already —
PEREGRINE By whom?
SIR POLITIC Sir, one that, though his place be obscure,
Yet he can sway, and they will hear him. He's
A commendatore
PEREGRINE What! a common sergeant?
SIR POLITIC Sir, such as they are put it in their mouths
What they should say, sometimes, as well as greater.
I think I have my notes to show you —
PEREGRINE Good, sir.
SIR POLITIC But you shall swear unto me, on your gentry,
Not to anticipate —
PEREGRINE I, sir!
SIR POLITIC Nor reveal
A circumstance — My paper is not with me
PEREGRINE O, but you can remember, sir.
SIR POLITIC My first is
Concerning tinderboxes. You must know
No family is here without its box
Now, sir, it being so portable a thing,
Put case that you or I were ill affected
Unto the state; sir, with it in our pockets,
Might not I go into the Arsenal,
Or you? come out again? and none the wiser?
PEREGRINE Except yourself, sir
SIR POLITIC Go to, then. I therefore
Advertise to the state, how fit it were
That none but such as were known patriots,
Sound lovers of their country, should be suffered
To enjoy them in their houses; and even those
Sealed at some office, and at such a bigness
As might not lurk in pockets.
PEREGRINE Admirable!
SIR POLITIC My next is, how to inquire, and be resolved
By present demonstration, whether a ship
Newly arrived from Syria, or from
Any suspected part of all the Levant,
Be guilty of the plague; and where they use
To lie out forty, fifty days, sometimes,
About the Lazaretto, for their trial,
I'll save that charge and loss unto the merchant,
And in an hour clear the doubt
PEREGRINE Indeed, sir!
SIR POLITIC Or — I will lose my labor
PEREGRINE My faith, that's much
SIR POLITIC Nay, sir, conceive me. 'Twill cost me in onions,
Some thirty livres —
PEREGRINE Which is one pound sterling
SIR POLITIC Besides my waterworks; for this I do, sir:
First, I bring in your ship 'twixt two brick walls;
But those the state shall venture. On the one
I strain me a fair tarpaulin, and in that
I stick my onions, cut in halves; the other
Is full of loopholes, out at which I thrust
The noses of my bellows; and those bellows
I keep, with waterworks, in perpetual motion,
Which is the easiest matter of a hundred.
Now, sir, your onion, which doth naturally
Attract the infection, and your bellows blowing
The air upon him, will show instantly,
By his changed color, if there be contagion,
Or else remain as fair as at the first.
— Now 'tis known, 'tis nothing
PEREGRINE You are right, sir
SIR POLITIC I would I had my note
PEREGRINE Faith, so would I:
But you have done well for once, sir
SIR POLITIC Were I false,
Or would be made so, I could show you reasons
How I could sell this state now to the Turk,
Spite of their galleys, or their —
PEREGRINE Pray you, Sir Pol
SIR POLITIC I have them not about me.
PEREGRINE That I feared
They are there, sir?
SIR POLITIC No, this is my diary,
Wherein I note my actions of the day
PEREGRINE Pray you let's see, sir What is here? Notandum,
A rat had gnawn my spur-leathers; notwithstanding,
I put on new and did go forth; but first
I threw three beans over the threshold Item,
I went, and bought two toothpicks, whereof one
I burst immediately in a discourse
With a Dutch merchant bout ragion del stato
From him I went and paid a moccenigo
For piecing my silk stockings; by the way
I cheapened sprats; and at St. Mark's I urined
Faith, these are politic notes!
SIR POLITIC Sir, I do slip
No action of my life, thus, but I quote it.
PEREGRINE Believe me, it is wise!
SIR POLITIC Nay, sir, read forth.
SCENE 2
LADY POLITIC Where should this loose knight be, trow? Sure, he's housed
NANO Why, then he's fast.
LADY POLITIC Ay, he plays both with me.
I pray you stay. This heat will do more harm
To my complexion than his heart is worth
(I do not care to hinder, but to take him)
How it comes off!
1 WOMAN My master's yonder
LADY POLITIC Where?
2 WOMAN With a young gentleman
LADY POLITIC That same's the party,
In man's apparel! Pray you, sir, jog my knight;
I will be tender to his reputation,
However he demerit.
SIR POLITIC My lady!
PEREGRINE Where?
SIR POLITIC 'Tis she indeed, sir; you shall know her. She is,
Were she not mine, a lady of that merit,
For fashion and behavior; and for beauty
I durst compare —
PEREGRINE It seems you are not jealous,
That dare commend her
SIR POLITIC Nay, and for discourse —
PEREGRINE Being your wife, she cannot miss that.
SIR POLITIC Madam,
Here is a gentleman; pray you, use him fairly;
He seems a youth, but he is —
LADY POLITIC None.
SIR POLITIC Yes, one
Has put his face as soon into the world —
LADY POLITIC You mean, as early? but today?
SIR POLITIC How's this?
LADY POLITIC Why, in this habit, sir; you apprehend me.
Well, Master Would-be, this doth not become you;
I had thought the odor, sir, of your good name
Had been more precious to you; that you would not
Have done this dire massacre on your honor;
One of your gravity, and rank besides!
But knights, I see, care little for the oath
They make to ladies, chiefly, their own ladies.
SIR POLITIC Now, by my spurs, the symbol of my knighthood —
PEREGRINE Lord, how his brain is humbled for an oath!
SIR POLITIC I reach you not.
LADY POLITIC Right, sir, your polity
May bear it through thus. — Sir, a word with you.
I would be loath to contest publicly
With any gentlewoman, or to seem
Froward, or violent: as The Courtier says,
It comes too near rusticity in a lady,
Which I would shun by all means; and however
I may deserve from Master Would be, yet
T' have one fair gentlewoman thus be made
The unkind instrument to wrong another,
And one she knows not, ay; and to persever;
In my poor judgment, is not warranted
From being a solecism in our sex,
If not in manners
PEREGRINE How is this!
SIR POLITIC Sweet madam,
Come nearer to your aim.
LADY POLITIC Marry, and will, sir
Since you provoke me with your impudence,
And laughter of your light land-siren here,
Your Sporus, your hermaphrodite —
PEREGRINE What's here?
Poetic fury and historic storms!
SIR POLITIC The gentleman, believe it, is of worth,
And of our nation
LADY POLITIC Ay, your Whitefriars nation!
Come, I blush for you, Master Would-be, ay;
And am ashamed you should have no more forehead
Than thus to be the patron or St. George
To a lewd harlot, a base fricatrice,
A female devil in a male outside
SIR POLITIC Nay,
An you be such a one, I must bid adieu
To your delights. The case appears too liquid
LADY POLITIC Ay, you may carry 't clear, with your state-face!
But for your carnival concupiscence,
Who here is fled for liberty of conscience
From furious persecution of the marshal,
Her will I dis'ple.
PEREGRINE This is fine, i' faith,
And do you use this often? Is this part
Of your wit's exercise, 'gainst you have occasion?
Madam —
LADY POLITIC Go to, sir
PEREGRINE Do you hear me, lady?
Why, if your knight have set you to beg shirts,
Or to invite me home, you might have done it
A nearer way, by far.
LADY POLITIC This cannot work you
Out of my snare
PEREGRINE Why, am I in it, then?
Indeed your husband told me you were fair,
And so you are; only your nose inclines,
That side that's next the sun, to the queen-apple
LADY POLITIC This cannot be endured by any patience.
SCENE 3
MOSCA What's the matter, madam?
LADY POLITIC If the Senate
Right not my quest in this, I will protest them
To all the world no aristocracy.
MOSCA What is the injury, lady?
LADY POLITIC Why, the callet
You told me of, here I have ta'en disguised.
MOSCA Who? this! What means your ladyship? The creature
I mentioned to you is apprehended now
Before the Senate; you shall see her —
LADY POLITIC Where?
MOSCA I'll bring you to her. This young gentleman,
I saw him land this morning at the port.
LADY POLITIC Is't possible! How has my judgment wandered?
Sir, I must, blushing, say to you, I have erred,
And plead your pardon
PEREGRINE What, more changes yet!
LADY POLITIC I hope you've not the malice to remember
A gentlewoman's passion. If you stay
In Venice here, please you to use me, sir —
MOSCA Will you go, madam?
LADY POLITIC Pray you, sir, use me; in faith,
The more you see me, the more I shall conceive
You have forgot our quarrel.
PEREGRINE This is rare!
Sir Politic Would-be? No, Sir Politic Bawd!
To bring me thus acquainted with his wife!
Well, wise Sir Pol, since you have practiced thus
Upon my freshman-ship, I'll try your salt-head,
What proof it is against a counterplot.
SCENE 4 The Scrutineo
VOLTORE Well, now you know the carriage of the business,
Your constancy is all that is required
Unto the safety of it.
MOSCA Is the lie
Safely conveyed amongst us? Is that sure?
Knows every man his burden?
CORVINO Yes.
MOSCA Then shrink not.
CORVINO But knows the advocate the truth?
MOSCA O, sir,
By no means; I devised a formal tale
That salved your reputation But be valiant, sir
CORVINO I fear no one but him, that this his pleading
Should make him stand for a co-heir —
MOSCA Co-halter!
Hang him; we will but use his tongue, his noise,
As we do Croaker's here
CORVINO Ay, what shall he do?
MOSCA When we have done, you mean?
CORVINO Yes
MOSCA Why, we'll think:
Sell him for mummia; he's half dust already
Do you not smile to see this buffalo,
How he doth sport it with his head? — I should,
If all were well and past Sir, only you
Are he that shall enjoy the crop of all,
And these know not for whom they toil
CORBACCIO Ay, peace
MOSCA But you shall eat it Much! Worshipful sir.
Mercury sit upon your thundering tongue,
Or the French Hercules, and make your language
As conquering as his club, to beat along,
As with a tempest, flat, our adversaries;
But much more yours, sir
VOLTORE Here they come, have done
MOSCA I have another witness, if you need, sir,
I can produce.
VOLTORE Who is it?
MOSCA Sir, I have her.
SCENE 5
1 AVOCATORE The like of this the Senate never heard of.
2 AVOCATORE 'Twill come most strange to them when we report it
4 AVOCATORE The gentlewoman has been ever held
Of unreproved name
3 AVOCATORE So the young man,
4 AVOCATORE The more unnatural part that of his father
2 AVOCATORE More of the husband.
1 AVOCATORE I not know to give
His act a name, it is so monstrous!
4 AVOCATORE But the impostor, he's a thing created
To exceed example!
1 AVOCATORE And all aftertimes!
2 AVOCATORE I never heard a true voluptuary
Described, but him.
3 AVOCATORE Appear yet those were cited?
NOTARIO All but the old magnifico, Volpone.
1 AVOCATORE Why is not he here?
MOSCA Please your fatherhoods,
Here is his advocate: himself's so weak,
So feeble —
4 AVOCATORE What are you?
BONARIO His parasite,
His knave, his pander: I beseech the court
He may be forced to come, that your grave eyes
May bear strong witness of his strange impostures
VOLTORE Upon my faith and credit with your virtues,
He is not able to endure the air.
2 AVOCATORE Bring him, however.
3 AVOCATORE We will see him
4 AVOCATORE Fetch him
VOLTORE Your fatherhoods' fit pleasures be obeyed;
But sure, the sight will rather move your pities
Than indignation. May it please the court,
In the meantime, he may be heard in me.
I know this place most void of prejudice,
And therefore crave it, since we have no reason
To fear our truth should hurt our cause
3 AVOCATORE Speak free
VOLTORE Then know, most honored fathers, I must now
Discover to your strangely abused ears,
The most prodigious and most frontless piece
Of solid impudence and treachery
That ever vicious nature yet brought forth
To shame the state of Venice This lewd woman,
That wants no artificial looks or tears
To help the visor she has now put on,
Hath long been known a close adulteress
To that lascivious youth there; not suspected,
I say, but known, and taken in the act
With him; and by this man, the easy husband,
Pardoned; whose timeless bounty makes him now
Stand here, the most unhappy, innocent person
That ever man's own goodness made accused
For these, not knowing how to owe a gift.
Of that dear grace but with their shame, being placed
So above all powers of their gratitude,
Began to hate the benefit; and, in place.
Of thanks, devise to extirp the memory
Of such an act Wherein, I pray your fatherhoods
To observe the malice, yea, the rage of creatures
Discovered in their evils; and what heart
Such take, even from their crimes. But that anon
Will more appear This gentleman, the father,
Hearing of this foul fact, with many others
Which daily struck at his too tender ears,
And grieved in nothing more than that he could not
Preserve himself a parent (his son's ills
Growing to that strange flood), at last decreed
To disinherit him
1 AVOCATORE These be strange turns!
2 AVOCATORE The young man's fame was ever fair and honest
VOLTORE So much more full of danger is his vice,
That can beguile so under shade of virtue
But, as I said, my honored sires, his father
Having this settled purpose, by what means
To him betrayed, we know not, and this day
I cannot style him better — by confederacy.
Preparing this his paramour to be there,
Entered Volpone's house (who was the man,
Your fatherhoods must understand, designed
For the inheritance), there sought his father;
But with what purpose sought he him, my lords?
I tremble to pronounce it, that a son
Unto a father, and to such a father,
Should have so foul, felonious intent:
It was to murder him! When, being prevented
By his more happy absence, what then did he?
Not check his wicked thoughts; no, now new deeds
(Mischief doth ever end where it begins);
An act of horror, fathers! He dragged forth
The aged gentleman that had there lain bed rid
Three years and more, out of his innocent couch,
Naked upon the floor, there left him; wounded
His servant in the face; and, with this strumpet,
The stale to his forged practice, who was glad
To be so active (I shall here desire
Your fatherhoods to note but my collections,
As most remarkable), thought at once to stop
His father's ends, discredit his free choice
In the old gentleman, redeem themselves,
By laying infamy upon this man,
To whom, with blushing, they should owe their lives.
1 AVOCATORE What proofs have you of this?
BONARIO Most honored fathers,
I humbly crave there be no credit given
To this man's mercenary tongue.
2 AVOCATORE Forbear.
BONARIO His soul moves in his fee
3 AVOCATORE O, sir!
BONARIO This fellow,
For six sols more, would plead against his Maker
1 AVOCATORE You do forget yourself
VOLTORE Nay, nay, grave fathers,
Let him have scope; can any man imagine
That he will spare his accuser, that would not
Have spared his parent?
1 AVOCATORE Well, produce your proofs
CELIA I would I could forget I were a creature
VOLTORE Signor Corbaccio!
4 AVOCATORE What is he?
VOLTORE The father
2 AVOCATORE Has he had an oath?
NOTARIO Yes
CORBACCIO What must I do now?
NOTARIO Your testimony's craved
CORBACCIO Speak to the knave?
I'll have my mouth first stopped with earth; my heart
Abhors his knowledge: I disclaim in him
1 AVOCATORE But for what cause?
CORBACCIO The mere portent of nature!
He is an utter stranger to my loins
BONARIO Have they made you to this?
CORBACCIO I will not hear thee,
Monster of men, swine, goat, wolf, parricide!
Speak not, thou viper
BONARIO Sir, I will sit down,
And rather wish my innocence should suffer,
Than I resist the authority of a father
VOLTORE Signor Corvino!
2 AVOCATORE This is strange
1 AVOCATORE Who's this?
NOTARIO The husband
4 AVOCATORE Is he sworn?
NOTARIO He is
3 AVOCATORE Speak, then
CORVINO This woman, please your fatherhoods, is a whore
Of most hot exercise, more than a partridge,
Upon record —
1 AVOCATORE No more
CORVINO Neighs like a jennet
NOTARIO Preserve the honor of the court
CORVINO I shall,
And modesty of your most reverend ears
And yet I hope that I may say these eyes
Have seen her glued unto that piece of cedar
That fine well-timbered gallant; and that here
The letters may be read, through the horn,
That make the story perfect
MOSCA Excellent, sir!
CORVINO There is no shame in this now, is there?
MOSCA None
CORVINO Or if I said, I hoped that she were onward
To her damnation, if there be a hell
Greater than whore and woman; a good Catholic
May make the doubt
3 AVOCATORE His grief hath made him frantic.
1 AVOCATORE Remove him hence
2 AVOCATORE Look to the woman
CORVINO Rare!
Prettily feigned, again!
4 AVOCATORE Stand from about her.
1 AVOCATORE Give her the air
3 AVOCATORE What can you say?
MOSCA My wound,
May it please your wisdoms, speaks for me, received
In aid of my good patron, when he missed
His sought-for father, when that well-taught dame
Had her cue given her to cry out, A rape!
BONARIO O most laid impudence! Fathers —
3 AVOCATORE Sir, be silent;
You had your hearing free, so must they theirs.
2 AVOCATORE I do begin to doubt th' imposture here
4 AVOCATORE This woman has too many moods
VOLTORE Grave fathers,
She is a creature of a most professed
And prostituted lewdness
CORVINO Most impetuous,
Unsatisfied, grave fathers!
VOLTORE May her feignings
Not take your wisdoms: but this day she baited
A stranger, a grave knight, with her loose eyes
And more lascivious kisses. This man saw them
Together on the water, in a gondola.
MOSCA Here is the lady herself, that saw them too,
Without; who then had in the open streets
Pursued them, but for saving her knight's honor.
1 AVOCATORE Produce that lady
2 AVOCATORE Let her come
4 AVOCATORE These things,
They strike with wonder
3 AVOCATORE I am turned a stone
SCENE 6
MOSCA Be resolute, madam
LADY POLITIC Ay, this same is she
Out, thou chameleon harlot! Now thine eyes
Vie tears with the hyena Dar'st thou look
Upon my wronged face? — I cry your pardons,
I fear I have forgettingly transgressed
Against the dignity of the court —
2 AVOCATORE No, madam
LADY POLITIC And been exorbitant —
2 AVOCATORE You have not, lady
4 AVOCATORE These proofs are strong.
LADY POLITIC Surely, I had no purpose
To scandalize your honors, or my sex's
3 AVOCATORE We do believe it
LADY POLITIC Surely, you may believe it
2 AVOCATORE Madam, we do
LADY POLITIC Indeed you may; my breeding
Is not so coarse —
4 AVOCATORE We know it
LADY POLITIC To offend
With pertinacy —
3 AVOCATORE Lady —
LADY POLITIC Such a presence!
No, surely
1 AVOCATORE We well think it
LADY POLITIC You may think it
1 AVOCATORE Let her o'ercome. What witnesses have you,
To make good your report?
BONARIO Our consciences
CELIA And heaven, that never fails the innocent
4 AVOCATORE These are no testimonies
BONARIO Not in your courts,
Where multitude, and clamor overcomes
1 AVOCATORE Nay, then you do wax insolent.
VOLTORE Here, here,
The testimony comes that will convince,
And put to utter dumbness their bold tongues!
See here, grave fathers, here's the ravisher,
The rider on men's wives, the great impostor,
The grand voluptuary! Do you not think
These limbs should affect venery? or these eyes
Covet a concubine? Pray you mark these hands;
Are they not fit to stroke a lady's breasts?
Perhaps he doth dissemble!
BONARIO So he does.
VOLTORE Would you have him tortured?
BONARIO I would have him proved
VOLTORE Best try him then with goads, or burning irons;
Put him to the strappado. I have heard
The rack hath cured the gout; 'faith, give it him,
And help him of a malady; be courteous
I'll undertake, before these honored fathers,
He shall have yet as many left diseases
As she has known adulterers, or thou strumpets
O, my most equal hearers, if these deeds,
Acts of this bold and most exorbitant strain,
May pass with sufferance, what one citizen
But owes the forfeit of his life, yea, fame,
To him that dares traduce him? Which of you
Are safe, my honored fathers? I would ask,
With leave of your grave fatherhoods, if their plot
Have any face or color like to truth?
Or if, unto the dullest nostril here,
It smell not rank and most abhorred slander?
I crave your care of this good gentleman,
Whose life is much endangered by their fable;
And as for them, I will conclude with this,
That vicious persons, when they're hot, and fleshed
In impious acts, their constancy abounds:
Damned deeds are done with greatest confidence
1 AVOCATORE Take them to custody, and sever them
2 AVOCATORE 'Tis pity two such prodigies should live
1 AVOCATORE Let the old gentleman be returned with care:
I'm sorry our credulity hath wronged him
4 AVOCATORE These are two creatures!
3 AVOCATORE I have an earthquake in me
2 AVOCATORE Their shame, even in their cradles, fled their faces.
4 AVOCATORE You have done a worthy service to the state, sir,
In their discovery.
1 AVOCATORE You shall hear, ere night,
What punishment the court decrees upon them
VOLTORE We thank your fatherhoods. — How like you it?
MOSCA Rare
I'd have your tongue, sir, tipped with gold for this;
I'd have you be the heir to the whole city;
The earth I'd have want men, ere you want living:
They're bound to erect your statue in St. Mark's
Signor Corvino, I would have you go
And show yourself, that you have conquered
CORVINO Yes.
MOSCA It was much better that you should profess
Yourself a cuckold thus, than that the other
Should have been proved.
CORVINO Nay, I considered that;
Now it is her fault.
MOSCA Then it had been yours.
CORVINO True; I do doubt this advocate still
MOSCA I' faith,
You need not; I dare ease you of that care
CORVINO I trust thee, Mosca
MOSCA As your own soul, sir
CORBACCIO Mosca!
MOSCA Now for your business, sir
CORBACCIO How! have you business?
MOSCA Yes, yours, sir
CORBACCIO O, none else?
MOSCA None else, not I
CORBACCIO Be careful then
MOSCA Rest you with both your eyes, sir
CORBACCIO Dispatch it.
MOSCA Instantly
CORBACCIO And look that all,
Whatever, be put in, jewels, plate, moneys,
Household stuff, bedding, curtains
MOSCA Curtain-rings, sir:
Only the advocate's fee must be deducted
CORBACCIO I'll pay him now; you'll be too prodigal
MOSCA Sir, I must tender it.
CORBACCIO Two sequins is well?
MOSCA No, six, sir
CORBACCIO 'Tis too much
MOSCA He talked a great while;
You must consider that, sir
CORBACCIO Well, there's three —
MOSCA I'll give it him
CORBACCIO Do so, and there's for thee
MOSCA Bountiful bones! What horrid strange offense
Did he commit 'gainst nature, in his youth,
Worthy this age? — You see, sir, how I work
Unto your ends; take you no notice.
VOLTORE No,
I'll leave you
MOSCA All is yours — the devil and all,
Good advocate! — Madam, I'll bring you home.
LADY POLITIC No, I'll go see your patron
MOSCA That you shall not
I'll tell you why My purpose is to urge
My patron to reform his will; and for
The zeal you have shown today, whereas before
You were but third or fourth, you shall be now
Put in the first; which would appear as begged,
If you were present Therefore —
LADY POLITIC You shall sway me.
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