Classic Poem

SOLD ON BEHALF OF A HOSPITAL

The buyer gapes and stammers: " What!
You mean to tell me I have got
To read these Plays — to read them all!
Oh! no — the man's a criminal,
With twenty-seven mortal sins! —
Ye little fishes and your fins!
Too hot! It comforts me to think
They must have driven him to drink! "

Ah! yes, they did; and that is why
I make the buyer this reply:
" Far better burned than read, poor buyer;
So spare your eyes, and feed your fire! "