With flintlocked guns and polished stocks,
Knee breeches and long homespun socks,
One morning of St. Valentine
Two hunters met in 1809.
Across the line from Illinois;
They stopped their mules and voiced their joy.

" Why, Ben, it's been quite a spell
Since I've seen you. The folks all well?
Bring any news from up near town? "
" Why, yes. D'you know John Ezry Brown?
They say that he's a-goin down
To Washington in all the din
To see Jim Madison sworn in.

" And this young feller Bonaparte
That's fightin' cross the sea,
Is slicin' Europe all to bits.
Least that's what they're a tellin' me. "
" Wal, wal, nice day, kinda breezy,
This mule's gettin' quite uneasy.

" Now come and see us some time, do,
And bring the gals and Hepsy, too. "
" Yes, some fine day we'll be along,
Got any news to send along? "
" No, nothin' worth a tinker's song.
There's nothin' happens here near me,
Doggondest place you ever see.

" Tom Lincoln lives right over there,
In that log cabin, bleak and bare,
They say they have a little babe,
I understand they've named him " Abe."
Yes, Sally said just 'tother day,
That nothin' happens down this way. "