To the Tune of " Packington's Pound "

1.

When Burnet perceived that the beautiful dames,
Who flock to the chapel of holy St. James,
On their lovers above their kind looks did bestow,
And smiled not at him when he bellowed below,
To the princess he went
With a pious intent,
This dangerous ill in the church to prevent:
O Madam! said he, our religion's quite lost,
If the ladies thus ogle the Knights of the Toast.

2.

Your Highness observes how I labor and sweat,
Their affections to raise, and new flames to beget;
And sure when I preach, all the world will agree,
That their ears and their eyes should be pointed at me:
But now I can find
No beauty so kind,
My parts to regard, or my person to mind:
Nay, I scarce have a sight of one feminine face,
But those of old Oxford, and ugly Arglass.

3.

These sorrowful matrons with hearts full of truth
Repent for the manifold sins of their youth:
The rest with their tattle my harmony spoil;
And Burlington, Anglesey, Kingston, and Boyle
Their minds entertain
With thoughts so profane,
'Tis a mercy to find that at church they contain;
Ev'n Heveningham's shape their weak fancies entice,
And rather than me they will ogle the Vice.

4.

These practices, Madam, my preaching disgrace;
Shall laymen enjoy the just rights of my place?
Then all may lament my condition so hard,
Who thresh in the pulpit without a reward.
Therefore pray condescend
Such disorders to end,
And from the ripe vineyard those laborers send;
Or build up the seats that the beauties may see
The face of no brawny pretender but me.

5.

The princess by rude importunity pressed,
Though she laughed at his reasons, allowed his request:
And now Britain's nymphs in this Protestant reign
Are locked up at pray'rs like the virgins in Spain;
So they are all undone,
For as sure as a gun,
Whenever a woman is kept like a nun,
If any kind man from her bondage will save her,
The lady in gratitude grants him the favor.