A War Bird's Burlesque

1

A portly Roman Senator was sipping his Rock and Rye,
When a classic Vestal Virgin caught his educated eye;
" Ah, ha, " he cried enraptured, " that's just about my style,
Behold the old come-hither look, that makes the wild men wild. "

2

The old boy was no novice, for he'd served his time in Gaul,
And he saw she was a chicken and the flapper pose a stall,
So he flashed a roll of talents and she flashed him back a smile,
And she shrugged her architecture in a manner to beguile.

3

But he had to go to Naples, where some rents were overdue,
While she lingered by the Tiber, complaining of the flu.
And no great time elapsed ere the wise ones slyly winked,
And they whispered " Habeas Corpus, " as their golden goblets clinked.

4

For it was whispered at the banquets and told o'er games of cards,
That a certain dashing Shavetail of Julius Caesar's Guards,
Was bringing home the bacon, had a latchkey to the flat,
Had soused himself in pre-war stock and was staging a terrible bat.

5

He broke the records back to Rome and arrived with a terrible shout,
But the Shavetail heard him on the stairs and escaped by the gutter spout,
The Senator surveyed his flat, with bottles everywhere,
And picked up some scattered plumage and bits of odd tinware.

6

The lady wept in anguish, but he only mocked her cries,
" I gave you rings for your fingers, now they're beneath your eyes. "
The sweet young thing was cagy, she'd expected his return,
And she explained, " Semper fidelis, won't you ever learn!

7

" Dear Caesar came to see me, said Pompey's getting hot,
And the Legion's drilling badly and the Navy's gone to pot:
So to stimulate recruiting, I've been flirting with this Wop. "
And she slipped her toga's shoulder strap, and displayed a fancy clock.

8

His thoughts went back to Britain, and he stroked a scarred chin,
Where an angry Celtic husband had expressed his deep chagrin.
He recalled how his upright figure and the polish his armor bore,
Had intrigued the Spanish maidens on that temperamental shore.

9

And his anger soon abating, he replaced the truant strap,
And she said, " Carpemus diem, " as he gave her cheek a slap;
He patted the tousled curly locks, that on his shoulder lay,
And thought, " She's not hors de combat, 'tis part of an Officer's Pay. "
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